Invitation for some 'fierce discussion'

I've just read a post titled "Why The Blog Negativity?" and I feel compelled to have a fierce discussion on my blog about all of this. I want to be very clear to Sue, the author (whose blog I enjoy reading ) that this is not a personal attack, but rather an invitation into some critical thinking and setting the record straight.

Doing the rounds of blog land recently and have noticed that there seems to be a lot of negativity going on in the Figure comp/training/dieting world. It seems certain people are scouring blogs to try and take down anyone who enjoys improving their health and physique through structured training and nutrition.

Having goals is actually perceived as a negative by these people. Maybe this negativity has come about because these particular people were not successful at their own goals, and are envious of those who are, and those that enjoy the process of achieving them? Why shouldn’t you have a goal, something to drive you to improve and achieve? How someone can see this as a bad thing is beyond me.

It was also mentioned there is no such thing as a ‘bad food’ just the way you think and perceive the food.

Let's look at this more closely. That "certain people" are scouring blogs to try and take down anyone in the figure world is highly misleading. From where I sit, you're looking at one comment, left on Kristin Gleeson's blog by Shelley Stark and you're looking at a thought provoking post about goal setting, written by health and fitness commentator, Katie P.

Both of these bloggers have successfully competed in more than one Figure Competition and are more than qualified to discuss their post competition experiences and aren't afraid to be brutally honest about their struggles. In no way are either of these bloggers "bagging" other Figure Competitors, but rather challenging beliefs in a positive way - what I call "fierce conversation".

It takes some emotional maturity to have a fierce conversation, often they contain things you don't want to hear at the time, but ultimately, you're grateful that you did.

Let's look at Katie's posts on ditching goal setting - this is a really thought provoking post and I'm really glad she posted it. I think the world needs more posts like this which invoke critical thinking and discussion. There's no shred of personal attack in these posts rather an invitation for constructive dialogue. I think if a goal allows personal growth and you keep benefiting after achievement of the goal has been reached, then goal setting can be a good thing. I agree that sometimes setting short term goals can mask longer term problems. Thank you to Katie for making me think!

Let's break down the notion that there is "no such thing as a bad food, just the way you think and perceive the food."

There is a mention of double whoppers and cheeseburgers which, when compared to other things are relatively devoid of nutrients that we define as health giving - no question about it and no one in their postings is arguing this fact. However, what would your perception of a double whopper be if that was the only food you had available to you on a desert island and would ultimately impact on whether you lived or died? The perception of the Double Whopper in this situation would be correctly labelled as life giving (though, personally I hope I never end up in that situation, but hopefully you can see my drift!)

Kristin recently mentioned on her blog that she was excited to be setting new goals toward another competition, having just completed her first (2) and having thoroughly enjoyed the experience. She was asked this question by a fellow blogger:

“Why do you have to have a goal, competing or other, to wake up each day with excitement and a purpose? Isn’t living a happy, fulfilled, contented life purpose enough?”

I found Shelley's comment to be interesting. When I did my initial physique transformation, the recommendation post comp or post 12 weeks was to set another goal straightaway, to be leveraged. As a coach, I've seen many girls lurch from comp to comp as a means of controlling leanness and who punish themselves with a rarified sub RMR intake, rather than facing some of the harder truths about living lean for the long term, which include learning to love yourself no matter where you are along the journey and learning how to honour yourself with choices that bring your body towards peak performance.

I have written lately that I am questioning the purpose of Figure Comps - I think the concept of being judged on your appearance by an external source is highly overrated, especially if you're up on stage in the best physical condition of your life. I even wince when saying "best" - because I would say my best physical condition (where I kick butt in the gym ) looks a bit different to my Figure look. I find it sad that comping can affect people's perception of what is truly important so much that they feel they can't stay with their friends, enjoy a meal with their family or miss a training session. I'm disturbed that practices such as extreme dehydration are accepted as techniques that are meant to make you look your very "best. "

I'm proud that I've remained dead set against this outlook with any of the comp girls I've prepped. That said, you couldn't have stopped me from doing my shows, so I do understand the appeal of competing and encourage anyone who is really keen to get a coach who doesn't embrace any of the above practices (and this is not to toot my horn because I'm not currently accepting any new Figure Prep clients) If you're competing for your own self satisfaction and to see how far you can take yourself, regardless of how you're judged then it can be a worthwhile endeavour. It really depends on the context in which you're competing. Be aware that there's almost always a bumpy road post comp with your eating patterns - how well you recover is more dependent on developing skills of waking up with the feeling of " Isn’t living a happy, fulfilled, contented life purpose enough?” as opposed to setting the next goal.

I’m a little confused. I mean, what do you think it is that makes a ‘happy, fulfilled, contented life’? Sitting on the couch watching tv and munching on Macca’s, simply existing?

Neither of the two bloggers that I am referring to sit on their couches, munch Macca's and simply exist as part of their mantras for living a happy and fulfilled life. I train with Shelley twice a week and she is a fit, vibrant chick who can lift some seriously heavy weights. Katie does RPM, lifts weights and practices meditation and yoga - hardly people that are "simply existing"

I don’t feel its right to bag those who enjoy the challenge of competing and the process that goes along with it. If that makes them feel great, that’s awesome. If it’s not for you, that’s fine too, but don’t go suggesting to those that do enjoy it, that they should be happy just ‘existing’ without the challenge of improvement and competition.

Nobody is bagging anyone who enjoys the challenge of competing but I have to ask how does one really gauge what "improvement" is in the Figure World? You're not judged on whether you're strong or fit or fast, you're judged on your looks! This is also a huge problem with fitness magazines - I've been told as a writer, after suggesting an accomplished athlete for a feature article - "she's not pretty enough, we only want to profile beautiful people in our magazine". Needless to say, I'd rather be associated with publications that promote performance over physique any day of the week.

Some comments may be thought provoking and initially seem abrasive, but take pause - they're coming from a place of concern and of love. We're all on different journeys, different paths and each one is just as worthwhile as the other. If someone had said the same thing to me in the thick of my bodybuilding phase, I probably would have slapped them - but I have had the gift of time and growth to see things differently.

I find it really interesting that it is perceived in the first place that if you're not competing or having physique goals, you're off in a corner somewhere eating a pile of crap. Eating "piles of crap" and letting it all go isn't what ditching a diet and learning how to eat more intuitively is about. Putting food in a morally neutral perspective is part of the journey and this is what Shelley is alluding to. Eating well because you want to look after yourself is part of this journey - which I see in Sue's comments about eating consistently and eating healthfully - basically they're both talking about the same thing, in a different context.

To sum up, I don't see negativity as such, just a different opinion. And whilst we may not always agree on everything, life would be pretty boring if we all thought the same way.

I would invite everyone's thoughts on the matter!

Going into the Hurt Box......

Today heralded my return to strength training after ten days off and knowing how hard Shelley likes to hit things had me running scared in my mind. Thoughts of my chest cracking under the stress of those heavy weights entered my mind. "Be gone!" I told myself. "Have no expectations....just do it".

After a rather convivial warm up we were straight into the guts of the workout, incline bench (5 x 1 cluster) x 4 supersetted with pull ups. I was a bit hesitant about the angle and wondered out aloud to Shelley whether her bench press comp would allow an angle, because surely she would cane it - but I'm proud to say that today I kept up with her - we did some pretty tidy sets at 45 and 47.5kg and marvelled at how we bang on a 45kg load without thinking twice. I surprised myself with the pull ups - managing to do most of them now unassisted, albeit for a little jump up towards the bar. We knew we were pretty wiped out when we started our second superset - think we dropped on these weights from last time but to me that's OK, if you're failing towards the end of the session it means you've caned it pretty thoroughly at the beginning, so you've gotta be happy with that.

I have a feeling I'm going to be screaming down to DOMS city by tomorrow, so I'm sitting quietly and enjoying the calm before the storm.

I mentioned a few posts back that my next little fitness project hadn't hit my lap, but I think I know what's on the menu next. I'm going to apply to audition to be a Les Mills presenter (like Shar ) - for the RPM program. I've got my work cut out for me and there is lots of practice to do, going through the education sessions with a fine tooth comb, getting my fitness levels up there and doing some pre audition assessment. It's pretty competitive and I don't know my likelihood of a look in, but I do know that I will have learned something after a month of intense focus so getting somewhere with it would be a real bonus. The auditions are in early November in Brisbane for any other LMA instructors who may be reading this and want to give it a good crack.

Off now to peel some prawns and prep some calamari for dinner - I got some fresh Aussie prawns for fifteen bucks a kilo and thought that they would be perfect with sweet chilli and lime marinade, some home made wedges and a bucket of steamed vegetables.

Powering On

Another good workout today and the traces of the dreaded lurgy are nearly all gone. I've caught up on a few blogs (Carolyn, I've found a dead mouse in the fridge on one move occasion but I think the squid tube is definitely the winner there!) and got some sweet potato on the go to have with dinner (sans mouse) - so here's the blog whilst I'm waiting for it to cook.

We were up early this morning to go to the building site and meet with the cabinet maker who is doing our kitchen - deep and meaningful conversations on topics such as how deep the pot drawers should be followed as well as ensuring that there was enough space for the fridge, the cooktop was placed just where we want it etc. The house is looking marvellous, we've got a nice cream coloured Colourbond roof and some steel blue trim - we also organized where the TV points were (the aim being to get a big plasma screen in the rumpus/gym - will be amazing!)/

Then it was off to the CBD to teach RPM which was good fun - hard work though after you've been a bit crook but worth the effort. I had to have a giggle at my post workout meal today - I had planned on heading back to Indro to pick up a Vietnamese Salad but instead got way laid talking to someone and ended up spotting a white chocolate Freddo. I don't have white chocolate often, but when I do, I really enjoy it - so I savoured my 15 g little Freddo, went about my business, got back to Indro two and a half hours later and realized that I was starting to get hungry for lunch at 3pm. Unbelievable that a Freddo Frog kept me powering on for hours! Learning to listen to your hunger cues is important - even though we humans like order, there's no reason to eat every three hours unless you're genuinely hungry. Today's intervals have been 2 hours, 1 hour, 4 hours, the magic Freddo, 2.5 hours, 2.5 hours and who knows when dinner will hit my plate?

Sometimes we get caught up in these eating patterns of "I should" for example "I should be eating x but not y" , "I should be eating my carbs post workout" , "I should be.." . This is imposing external control, whereas I feel the locus of our control should be internal. My only "should" is to honour myself with choices that make me feel good about who I am, and that allow me to be the best I can be. (and yes, this is a predominantly clean diet with the odd Freddo thrown in..lol)

Stepping Up!

I woke up feeling much better today and got to teach Bodystep this morning which was great fun. It's my "fun" factor class and my one class a week is a wonderful contrast to my four "tough nut" RPM classes. I believe the hardest part about returning after illness is taking things a little slower and building up to full tilt gradually. I tend to remember how fit I was before illness, and sometimes I have to adjust my attitude and tell myself it is perfectly fine to ease back into things. I must be on the mend as I'm feeling really good after class and have just enjoyed a huge plate of fish and vegetables. Yum yum!

I'm glad that the response to my blog spring clean has been positive. Even though I really enjoyed doing my Figure Comps, that phase for me is over and I feel more focused on living a healthy lifestyle and encouraging others to do the same and find their happy place with their training and exercise. Life is full of flux and it's really exciting to watch all the changes people make - Lisa posted yesterday about her "retirement" from powerlifting and her enjoyment of Cross Fit. Shelley's thinking of doing some powerlifting. Fern is caning Crossfit and only eating out of Tupperware when she takes her lunch to work. What is next on the fitness cards for me, I don't know but I'm just enjoying every workout and going with the flow.

Actually I do have something lined up next Wednesday - I'm doing Yoga with Lynne after teaching my Bodystep class - Lynne does my Step class and I thought I would try out Yoga after seeing how "connected" she is within herself - a good time to slow down, focus on being mindful and still - will see how it goes and report back!

Doing a LIttle Renovating

Like my first shots at renovation? Let me know what you think, good, bad or otherwise!

You can tell I'm getting better, I'm restless!

Being Different

Yeah, I'm different all right, I'm the only person I know who gets a cold/flu in September! It's funny, I was commenting to Shelley last week that I was feeling rather tired, we sensibly took the day off training, but perhaps this has been on the brew for longer than I thought. Anyway, the old throat glands are up like footballs, I'm taking my Vitamin C , Nurofen and sucking on a few Fisherman's Friends. What rotten luck!

Unfortunately off to work today in the pharmacy - that is the down side of my job - if no pharmacist is present, the store cannot be open by law. I'll just have to take it easy and try not to cough on anyone......

Intuitive Eating and Biology

This morning I read Magda's post about the struggle she has faced post competition and wanted to share a few personal thoughts as to why the going gets tough.

It's worthwhile googling "The Minnesota Semi Starvation Study" to see the effects of a very restricted diet on a group of men and the psychological problems experienced afterwards and during the study as a result of the restriction. All comp prep requires a calorie deficit to some degree but an extremely strict and lengthy prep will have the same effect as the study above. It is often said that Figure and Bodybuilding Competitions are a breeding ground for eating disorders, which I agree with on many levels. I believe that bodybuilding tends to attract the "all or nothing" type of person (a common thread in bulimia/BED), the perfectionist (a common trait of anorexia nervosa sufferers) and other compulsive types. Now not all competitors are like this, nor do all go on to suffer eating disorders, but a good percentage do.

To sum up there is a demonstrated biological link - with many theories purporting to why this happens, but the fact is that it does happen.

The other thing that disturbs me about the bodybuilding world is that competitors jacked up on steroids are shown to be "inspirational". The IFBB Olympia is on this weekend, the so called "best" women's figure competitors are those with good symmetry (tick), good muscle (tick) and the best access to human grade (if you're lucky) pharmaceuticals (a 'false impression' if ever there was one ) In my opinion there's absolutely nothing inspirational about these girls.

I've digressed but I'm coming back now to the concept of Intuitive Eating that a few bloggers here are embracing. Even though I've done a "prep" this year, my whole year of life coaching has shown me the importance of making self care a priority. The focus on Intuitive Eating seals this for me. There is a lot of discomfort in letting go for many of us, but embracing some of the principles of Intuitive Eating can do us all some good, even if you're not ready to take all the steps. I'm not ready to take the steps surrounding my triggers and I've been reading an interesting blog that talks about both intuitive eating and triggers which explains to me why I feel terrible after eating a lot of junky food! Yes, I really do crave healthier fare afterwards, but studies relating to the opioid effects of processed carbs on the brain (that this author mentions as well as David Kessler in his book "The End of Overeating") suggest to me that it is a far greater honour towards myself to skip these types of foods.

Check out Sheryl Canter's work here , it is really interesting.

Taught RPM this morning, which was pretty tough and then had the most beautiful berry fruit salad with a dollop of yoghurt for morning tea. I sat there marvelling at the taste and crunch of the berries and felt deliriously happy that I'd treated myself with a great workout and some great eats.

I'm now half watching the Broncos get thrashed. I have a theory that if I left the TV, they may turn around and make a comeback!

So what's with all this "Greatest Love of All"?

with thanks to Lululemon Athletica for the great graphic.

Whitney Houston once sang "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."

So following on from yesterday's post, how do you learn to let it happen? It's the missing piece of the puzzle, the notion of honouring oneself, in order to be present for ourselves and those dearest to us. If we nourish ourselves we can step out of our comfort zone to inspire others. It's like the "place your own lifejacket on before your children" scenario played out in all pre flight procedures, how can we give, if we're drowning?

Find a quiet spot in your mind and ask yourself what you really want. Be patient, because the answer isn't always apparent. If at first you don't succeed, keep trying. I want............so that.......... is the usual script. What I really want is wrapped up in being the most authentic self I can be - that who I am is an accurate reflection of my values and beliefs.

For example my manifesto for being kind to myself involves nourishing my body with food that makes my body sing and my performance skyrocket. I honour myself by choosing food and choosing exercise that aligns my head, my heart and my love of music. Training without my mate or my Ipod just doesn't cut it. Being kind to myself sometimes means saying "no" to something rather than saying "yes".

Your wants need to be balanced with a sense of gratitude about the life you have been given. Today I am grateful for the opportunity I had to teach RPM - I felt better than I did last Saturday and I am grateful for the connection I get to make with my trainees every week. I get a lot of pleasure seeing everyone enjoy themselves. I am grateful for the connection I have with my girls.

Be still, walk lightly, dance on the outside as well as the inside- see the beauty and potential around you!

If you happen to see a crazy lady moonwalking down the aisle at Woollies, you just may have sighted me. Oh, and I'll also be the one carrying the asparagus, salmon and potatoes for a splendid dinner. Wahooo!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KjpyHX7X-o

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

Chorus:
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Chorus

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Last Blog on Weight Loss Ever!

After reading different perspectives on Tara's post about losing weight, it inspired me to write about it as well. As someone who has coached quite a few through the weight loss process, I can say without hesitation that if it was just about calories in versus calories out, we'd all be slender and there would be no such thing as a weight problem. Only it's way more complex than that.

Tara mentioned attributes such as lack of discipline, self control and motivation and on the surface, that may appear to be true. However, in my own experience, finding out why there is a perceived lack of discipline, self control etc is probably more important.

When I was 35kg overweight, I remember not liking myself very much, nor liking the reflection that I saw in the mirror. I tried many times half heartedly to lose the weight but would always fail and then add some more. I made my breakthrough by deciding to love myself and accept myself for where I was at that moment. And every time I made a healthier choice, I would tell myself "good job". The only race I had going was within myself.

Katie P has written it more eloquently than I possibly could:

"I embrace the airy fairy concept of choosing to take great care of myself. I observe my thoughts and replace the negative with the positive. I listen to my body and eat food that gives me the most pleasure over the longest time. I move with joy and ease. I do what makes me happy and alive every moment of every day.

There is no time, there is no tomorrow, my life is not a giant countdown clock to the next event, I choose to be happy right now.

Achieving a fit, lean, healthy body is not the measure of success but the by-product of living a life of nurturing self care and self love."

I choose exercise that I really enjoy. Whist I love reading about what goes on at Crossfit, I doubt you'll ever see me there! I love teaching my classes. I love going to the gym to train to be stronger and fitter and faster, rather than so I can have hot legs. My legs look great as a result of pushing myself to be fitter!

There are many paths to weight loss and each way has different meaning attached to it dependent on the person. For example, some who log into Calorieking find themselves becoming possessed by the numbers. Others, like me, find it useful to see that I can really eat a wide variety of food. I use a log when I'm taking a little bit of weight loss action, but for every day lean living, I rely on positive behaviours that reflect the fact that I believe good self care should be of the highest priority (plus with all the running around I've been doing lately, I have little time to log food every day).

Embracing yourself and choosing to bless your body with exercise and foods that you enjoy ( and I now naturally gravitate towards the good for you stuff) is the foundation upon which any lasting weight loss is built. Next time you pass the mirror, rather than telling yourself you're a "fucking fat cow" tell yourself that you love and accept yourself right now in this moment. You'll find it really makes a difference.

I titled this post the last blog on weight loss ever, because even though weight loss can be a worthwhile endeavour, l'm more about about enjoying my fitness and food right now than anything.

Having a Senior Moment

Pumped out a great training session with Miss Shelley which involved 5 sets of incline bench presses done cluster style and 5 sets of pull ups done cluster style as well. It hurt like hell, and my shoulder complained. I complain to my physio and she says "Liz, your shoulder is 40 years old now and isn't going to always work perfectly". "Bah!" I think. Then it was onto dumbbell bench presses (I love going flat, Shelley likes her angles - we both got something yesterday) as well as rows and some biceps work. The whole thing took us just over an hour and we didn't stop. The weird thing is that even though I was pretty much hammered after the session, I'm only a tad sore this morning. Aaah, the joys of adaptation!

Then had a birthday party for Miss G at the park with 14 squealing seven year olds. After a few musk sticks too many and playing pass the parcel and all those other good party games, I really didn't feel like dinner, so I skipped it.

This morning RPM Hi Performance - good solid whacker of a class, found it tough going and very relieved that all of my participants felt the same way!

Now off to see Harry Potter again with Miss S and her friend (belated birthday present) and then we are having pizza after that.

After my birthday celebrations all week and pizza tonight, no doubt I shall be craving vegetables and fresh fruit and ready to hit some clean eating again.

Good luck to all the competitors for the INBA show tomorrow. I am still in conflict over competing - sometimes I want to and then as the wise Ferny P says "who wants to spend their life eating out of f*ckin Tupperware containers" (this quote should be immortal, don't you think?) At the moment, living lean and loving life is right where I want (and need to be)

Anatomy of an RPM class

I've just taught RPM in the CBD and thought that it might be fun to share what my 45 minutes is like up on stage. My class is at 12.15pm. Everyone has a different style of teaching, I would say that I'm a bit of a technician, rather than perky (I save that for Step!). The serious hat goes on and I'm all about everyone getting the best results with the best technique.

12.00pm: Arrive at Fitness First CBD, scan in and head straight to the studio and turn on the lights. Come back into the office section, grab the microphone and run into Libby from Perth who is a great mate of Shar's - we have a great chat and I give her instructions to say "hi" to Shar for me.
12.05pm: Have a "pre class piddle" (sorry if TMI) and then go and meet and greet my participants - check their bike set ups, see how they're going. Typically I get between 36 and 42 people in class (42 is a full class). Test microphone, set up bike, put on shoes and get ready to rumble.
12.15pm: Class starts - I introduce myself to the class, explain that participants need to work at a level that feels good to them and talk about perceived exertion, pedalling technique and position on the bike. I don't want to sound too chatty, but I need to get all of the info across and still be entertaining. Choose "Crabbuckit" for the first track, explaining my initiation into the world of keeping fish. Get a few laughs.

Track 2 begins and then I am coaching 'connection' through the pedal stroke and a strengthening of commitment towards their ride and their fitness. Encourage them through 3 x 30 seconds of gradually increasing effort and model seated and standing climb towards the end.

I choose Track 3 from the newest release, because I like the music and I really enjoy coaching this track. There are 4 hills in the track and I coach a slow steady build up to each peak, getting more intense each time. I find that it's less intimidating for everyone and that all of a sudden they get to the end and they're really tired.

Changed up Track 4 and chose a really trancy piece and got them to focus on a positive affirmation during the class to take withthem into Track Five. My example was "I ride strong" - I don't say too much during this type of track, rather I like to let the music speak for itself.

Track Five and we're onto 5 intervals at 100% effort. I tell the class that we're taking work in a 3 to 2 ratio and the recoveries are long, so if they're to ride strong they really have to smack it. Build nicely into a preparatory phase and then I tell them "two full turns" and WHAM! I'm at 100% max effort like that - two attacks and then sliding forward into the Aeroracing position and hitting my quads big time. Everything is stinging and I'm gasping for air like Jabba the Hutt. (aarh),. Thank goodness for recovery! I'm so fatigued, I just squeak out "back it off and recover!" Four more to go! Tell yourself "I ride strong," I yell - smack out 100% in the next two intervals, I'm kicking butt and my class are coming home strong too. Get through number 4 and then I ask the class if they're ready to bring it..." YEAH!!!!! " is the response. Give it everything I have and start feeling nauseous. Make a mental note to bring my big red bucket next time. You never know when you're going to need to throw up.

Track Six - after Track Five being such a gutser, I focus on recovery and encourage the class to "find the edge" of the resistance. I've chosen really short bursts of speed in this track rather than a lot of cadence work. Fifteen seconds to go as fast as you can with good resistance - class really went for it. "Well done team!" I say, "nice effort!" Next interval is 40 seconds and this time I get the class to find their 'push point' of resistance and coach a build up from 85% to 100% intensity over 45 seconds. On recovery, their legs all slow to half pace. I'm happy, as it is telling me that the class are putting enough resistance on, riding with control and staying safe.

Track Seven - one for the climbers definitely. Coached 4 massive hills and two seated attacks in between. Encouraged to go to max and pin pointed the recoveries so the class could gauge their effort. Let it go completely during 30 seconds seated under max load. Heart pumping, lungs and legs on fire, attack until the end and go out hard and strong...oooh yeah!

Track Eight and Nine: Congratulate class on a job well done and lead them through the cool down and stretches, explaining the purpose of each stretch and the correct position. Have a chat to them after class and mop up all the sweat I've accumulated around the bike.

Go have a shower and lament that I didn't bring fresh socks. I reckon I must have sweated a cup of fluid into each side..yuck!

Meet hubby for lunch - we have Thai Beef and Noodle salads on the waterfront at a restaurant right on the river and share a bit of cheesecake for dessert (that softened me up for signing my life away on this mortage) - what better time to time some post workout carbs hee hee.

Feeling Flat

Don't you just hate those days when you "feel flat"? I think the combination of TOM, a hectic week with kids and "negative nelly" thinking on my part have led me to this point but I'm determined to eat the day on a more positive note.

Yesterday was Miss G's 7th birthday and I spent the better part of the day trying to purchase an aquarium (it is amazing how a 70.00 tank turns into a 200.00 one after you add all the stuff you need to keep the fish alive). We haven't got any fish yet, we're still prepping the the waters! I also taught two classes yesterday, RPM and Bodystep, in the latter class we were all so hot we were wondering if we were menopausal, but it turns out the air con was switched off - I felt hot and dehydrated for the rest of the day. We also had ballet and in the middle of that I baked Georgia a birthday cake and cupcakes - now I have blogged that baking is my Achilles heel and I can safely say there were far too many tastes going on. Hence the negative thoughts about why do I have to indulge in behaviours that are diametrically opposite to the direction I wish to head in.

It's easy to see how catastrophic thoughts of failure can crop up from one single event, especially one that has been layered on top of what was a very hectic and stressful kind of day. However, in just writing this blog, it's easy to see how hard we can be on ourselves. Is the fact I licked the spoon a few many times going to have significant impact on life in the long term? Unlikely. If I lick it every day? Maybe.

Life is going on, whether we're 'perfect' or not - and you don't have to be 'perfect' to be successful, the main thing is that you get up and you keep going.

Today I'm having lunch with hubs in the CBD after I teach RPM. I expect to be feeling fantastic after my class and I'm looking forward to spending some time with him (and signing some bank docos related to the house, debt here I come!)

I'm smiling!

I'm smiling because I celebrated my 40th Birthday with some great friends and some awesome birthday cake (s) (yes, plural!) (from left: me, Shelley, Nicole and Fern).

I had a wonderful evening full of life, love and laughs!

There's lots more to say but because I've got to have my "A Game" ready for training tomorrow, I'm headed to bed. But I reckon the best is to come!

Letting Go of the Numbers

Had a smasher of a training session today with Mrs Biologica and emerged tired but triumphant! There's always something to be learned from having a good crack at something and today's lesson was in learning to ignore the numbers.

On Tuesday, I got a bench press of 52.5kg, but as soon as I started thinking about how much weight that was, I lost the plot a bit. Shelley was the same, a bit startled that she can military press as much as she can bench (which means she could pick up a tiny weeny figure competitor in a cinch!) - as soon as we stopped thinking about the numbers, we started lifting more. Shelley did a PB in our push ups - added the 10kg plate and off she went, hesitantly in the first set and smashed the second (the difference - she didn't realize that I'd added the 10kg back for the second set!). Which meant I had to pull my finger out and get 15kg - for 8 reps only, I ended up submarining on the floor and couldn't push myself up again. Ouch!

The power of the mind is an amazing thing. Sometimes we have to cast the numbers aside and what we think we can do and just go to that place where we really test our potential.

The other thing that stands out in my mind is "course correction". Lately I've been paying more attention to planning my meals and generally eating less processed stuff and more greens, lean protein etc. Today I rushed out the door with only my pumpkin soup as my post workout snack. I ended up having to buy an HPLC bar at the gym and because that sucker packs nearly 400cals I had to cut it in half (yeah, bugger!). When I got home, the old belly was growling in a major way - the chicken and veggie stir fry was just not going to cut it alone so I had a slice of spelt toast with lunch. Aaah, much better! Not on my original "plan" but I'm now happy and comfortable rather than trolling for food like a mad banshee.

Well after all that heavy lifting I am going to have a little lie down as I'm busily preparing for life in a new decade.

Client Results

Even though I'm not doing any live PT anymore, I wanted to share some photos of my client, Christine. We spent six months or so training to add muscle - this is the result of six months hard work and some really heavy lifting (example - Christine went from 25kg to 45kg on bench press and easily deadlifts 70kg plus)

Proof that throwing around some good weights earns you a killer bod! (and the right to have an assistant hold your weights whilst you fix your outfit/hair/make up!)

When the Rage in Me Subsides

Guess the lyrics? ("Silence" Sarah McLaughlin)

Good choice of lyrics for today as the rage in me has subsided. After a little bit of deliberation, rather than let rip about this person that believes the lies he/she continually tells him/ herself (this pond scum isn't even worthy of gender identification) , I decided to hit "delete" on my brain keyboard and banish them to being a total non entity in my life. And if ever I come across them again, I think the appropriate term could possibly be "arsehole", lol.

I know I did the right thing as if by magic my mood started lifting and I started seeing sunshine again.

I'm ready to hit the ground running for a great day. Firstly to be a domestic goddess and do a little food prep and then to go and cane my Thursday lunchtime RPM class - yeah, I'm running wild and free!

It's Not Right but It's OK...

I'm going to make it anyway... la la la (Track 10a, Bodystep).

I can't believe that I taught Bodystep today, given all of my foot issues. I'm a little tender, but I'm OK. The worst part was that I woke up at 2.30am thinking about choreography, couldn't get back to sleep and then decided at 3.30am, be done with it, hopped up and went over the class - I must have looked a sight dancing round the loungeroom in my PJs in the wee hours of the morning.

Had a really interesting (and painful!) visit to see my physio, Louise who got to work on my stiff ankles, toe flexors and subtalar joint. I have bruises up and down my calves from my session, but now my ankles are moving freely and I'm feeling better. The podiatrist visit was pretty good too - apparently I under pronate and I've got to get new shoes and a new set of orthotics. He was pretty confident my issues would be sorted and I've got all manner of padding under my feet and on my old orthotics and I felt much better teaching step this morning.

Feeling tired and physically and emotionally drained from other goings on that I'm choosing not to blog about. Part of me just wants to let it rip, but the more sensible side just tells me to let it go now and move on. I read so many blogs that have such an rarefied air of politeness about them, I'm amazed that more of us just don't let it go - vent our spleens, state our cases. Who wrote "injustice rankles?" It's a great turn of phrase.

I think it just might be time for a nanna nap....

Letting it Ride

"Reality is your friend, because it gives you back your perspective and hence the power over yourself" Roger Gould.

Love this quote - I've been digging more into what my reality is right now and coming to the conclusion that mental fatigue has played a bit part in my life the past few months and really did catch up with me. Ever heard of the phrase (mostly used by men) "women think too much"? Uh, that would be me. Left to my devices too long, I've let a few thoughts run away with me and turn into what I call "big whoppers". For example, today I have to take the day off work because Miss G has been up all night vomiting. Rather than leave it at just being rotten luck and just unfortunate, I could feel myself magnifying it into a scenario where my employer would not be impressed with me, I'd be fired, (not that) fat and forty! (yeah, I know!). These "all or nothing" feelings do nothing but make me feel anxious (which in the past was a driver for overeating).

In these situations I really have to tell myself to "get a grip" and really look at what is real versus what is imagined - and reality wins every time. Getting relief from unpleasant feelings usually means facing reality - and reality is a good place to be!

I've got good news on the foot front, padding underneath my metatarsals is really helping, I've yet to see my physio and podiatrist (which only signals improvement!) and I'm cautiously optimistic that I can teach Step on Wednesday morning as well as my usual RPM. I've also been doing some ankle mobilization exercises (the advantages of being an exercise phys, I can start my rehab straight away!) and hip flexor work.

Training with Mrs B tomorrow (I'm wondering what heavy s**t she's lifted today) and sleeping much better. Dare I say it, I can't wait to be punished!

Lots to look forward to on the nutrition front today as well. Pumpkin soup (hooray!), fresh NZ trevally and vegetables and roasted vegetable salad with fetta and balsamic dressing (leftovers from Father's Day dinner yesterday).

In a better groove today!

I have to say that sleep is a beautiful thing and a highly underrated occupation. Was able to get off to sleep and stay asleep last night which left me feeling much more "even" this morning.

After a fair bit of angst, I decided to teach RPM this morning - and guess what, padded up there was no pain at all - I was a bit puffy after a week of doing nothing, but boy, did it feel good to move again! I did some shouldery rehab stuff - am slowly getting it back into submission, so here's hoping I'm as good as gold really soon.

Thank you for the comments on the kangaroo and the depression. I think kangaroo is a bit of an acquired taste and you have to cook it just right to bring out the best in it! I can highly recommend the herb and garlic steaks as a first port of call to any virgin kangaroo eaters.

Now onto the depression - thank you to Esme for your comment about depression and caring professions. I think we're inadvertently led to believe that somehow we're above suffering the ills of our patients. I remember the day I started my pharmacy degree, being in a lecture theatre with the med students, physios and all the other medicine/health students and being told that we were "elite", how we had to 'rise above' to treat our patients. Depression doesn't discriminate though -I've lost colleagues to suicide and it's even worse if you're a doctor it seems.

Now I think that when we care, we need to be especially cautious of taking time to recharge our own batteries. I allowed myself to get too busy and tried to be too much for too many people. However I am consciously choosing to say "no" to more things so I can say "yes" to feeling more even, more relaxed and to having more fun.

Now, off to bed soon to curl up with a good book. Resting helps everything, including a frazzled headspace feel much better!

The Monster at the End of the Bed

Raechelle's courageous posts about dealing with alcoholism this week got me thinking about the monster at the end of my own bed and the shame that we feel in admitting we have such weaknesses. However, weakness can be unifying, because you are guaranteed to find someone just around the corner with the same struggles as you and often the best life connections are made as a result.

I have touched on my monster over the years in this blog - I have suffered from depression on and off since my late teens. For the most part it's been pretty well controlled with a course of CBT from a psychologist in the 90s and SSRI medication when I get bad symptoms. For me, I know that the monster has resurfaced when I cannot sleep and I start feeling completely whacko about everything I put into my mouth (good or bad). The monster has been asleep since 2007, but has started to stir over the past month or so and a week ago attacked with a vengeance.

Today I saw my very wise GP, who likens a depressive episode to Archimede's Principle. Put "stuff" into a thin tube over time and gradually it will fill - add one little thing more and you get to overflowing. It's not the "little thing" that caused it (say my poor old metatarsals), but a series of stressful events leading to this point. And my goodness, this year has been full of those.

With this issue, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I know after a day or two of drugs, I'll look back and say, "how could I have not seen that coming?" However, when you're in the thick of feeling rotten, you just don't know how to think. I liken it to crossing a river. Your positive rational thoughts are on the other side. You know that the side you're on (the negative and irrational is doing you no good) but you don't have the tools to jump to the other side because you're scared you're going to fall in and drown. That's where the SSRI helps me - and why I can't understand people who tell others to toughen up and be strong without medication. If there is a need for a drug, go for it I say - and you know soon enough whether it works or not by changes in quality of life etc etc.

Shelley and I both decided to "chuck a sickie" today training wise. I've padded under my tarsometarsal joint and I don't know whether it's rest, padding or both, but it has improved dramatically today. I'm to teach RPM tomorrow, so I'll pad up and try and stay positive, even though I'm feeling a bit like an unfit slug (ah the mind games that a week off can play!).

Instead I've been attacking our filing cabinet with gusto and trying to get inspired to cook something nice for dinner. I revisited kangaroo meat today after being put off by the smell of the mince. I had a kangaroo herb and garlic steak for afternoon tea with some green vegetables. It was superb - oh Skippy, where have you been all my life. I simply seared both sides for 2 mins each for a medium to well done steak.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Uh oh..

I've been a bit 'absent' the past few days - because I've been a bear with a sore paw... I've been having pain between my first and second metatarsal and ankle stiffness (I think, secondary to the ol tarsals giving me heaps) so this week I've done nothing, except a super lift heavy you-know-what session with ol' Mrs Biologica - quick newsflash to say that I finally got my 50kg bench - woohoo! - except have a pity party for my feet. No step launch with Chieko and no RPM either, I've been sadly looking at my yellow wig and funky launch sunglasses.

There, have I painted a sad picture or what?

Off to the sports doc this morning and straight onto "X Radiology" for a Bone Scan. If you're in Brisbane and want top notch radiology services - this is the place to go. They did my shoulder ultrasound injections as well as the scan today and a mini CT scan as well because the data was patchy - that will be $600.00 paid by Mr Rudd thank you very much (bulk billed!). Anyway no stress fracture or talk of Morton's Neuroma, but I have degeneration in one of my tarsometatarsal joints and my talus (large ankle bone). The doc has said "no step" until foot pain settles but to keep doing RPM and lifting heavy you-know-what.

Next stop is my favourite physio and the podiatrist. My goal is to have myself all fixed up by the time I officially reach middle age (next Saturday).

I don't know how you're meant to make any of these appointments when you work full time so I consider myself extremely lucky that this has come together so quickly!

Eating Well at Work

I work in a pharmacy (as a pharmacist) every Monday and even though I dispense a lot of drugs, I'm personally more a preventative health kinda gal. Charlotte was discussing this in her blog post this evening, interesting stuff about elevated LDLs - I also have borderline blood cholesterol issues (but my HDL:LDL ratios are excellent) so it will be really interesting to see the results of my next lot of tests - as I'm really continuing to pick up my dietary act. I was feeling a little bit blue about the prospect of another 8 hour day on my feet and making up this rainbow of colours really lifted my spirits.

On the menu today:
Breakfast: oats (rich in beta glucan which can help control blood cholesterol), protein powder and added fibre.
Morning tea: Googie egg on slice of spelt toast. I start work at 10am and don't get to eat lunch until 2pm and this really kept me full and on top of my game.
Lunch: Prawn, coriander and vegetable stirfry with chilli and a smidge of brown rice (experimenting with more starchy carb to keep me feeling full)
Afternoon tea: Tuna salad with balsamic vinegar
Pre dinner: Pumpkin Soup (Homemade) with Cracked Pepper.
Munched on a couple of strawberries as well.
Dinner: Angus fillet steak, small corn cob, steamed greens, blueberries mixed with a little Metabolic Drive.

Yum!

Looking forward now to seven days pharmacy free and hitting the training hard tomorrow.

Quick Sunday Catch Up

Wow, what a week and a weekend for that matter! Where to begin? Probably at the start - we had our Quarterly Launches at the club this weekend and I taught two big RPM classes with Bron and then headed off to work. I am now working in a pharmacy every second weekend and on Mondays which isn't the most exciting, but it's a good steady income, so I consider myself fortunate that I don't have to work for the rest of the week. However, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I think excessive cardio is counter productive if you're trying to lose body fat (I am slowly making inroads into my Skinny Bones Challenge) and whilst I didn't overeat or stuff myself to the gills, I ate way way more than my normal appetite is used to (that is, first and second breakfast, first and second lunch and first and second dinner). In fact I ended with what I started with - oats and powder for second dinner!

Today was another day of work and I am grateful to be home. Luckily I had prepped dinner before I left this morning and I've spent the evening prepping my meals for my 8 hour plus day tomorrow.

I have been reading back through my blog over the past few months and then saw Kerryn's excellent post on perfection - so true that you don't solve things by getting older. Unless you face them, the issues are still there. My year has unexpectedly turned into an odyssey of facing all sorts of issues and learning from them, learning about myself and where I am right now.

Enough rambling for now. Time to hit the hay!

What My Legs Feel They Should Look Like!

Had a bit of a bruiser leg training session on Monday and have such bad DOMS that I've been having trouble walking up and down stairs today and think that after all that effort, my legs should look like this. I must confess that my session (by myself) was nowhere near as intense as how Shelley and I train, but I really tried to focus - my glutes are on fire now and my quads are in agony!

I know many fitness enthuiasts love DOMS, but I am not one of them. Being sore makes me cranky, frustrated and irritable. Plus when you have to teach RPM and Bodystep when your legs are shrieking with DOMS, it's just not pretty (I wondered if glutamine acts any faster if you snort it?) . In fact training my legs, isn't up there on favourite fitness things to do. However, I do want to be stronger all over and even though it's not my favourite, I'm glad I made the commitment.

I'm lucky that I've been genetically blessed with powerful legs - looked down on the poor ol' swollen pins and I've got some massive RPM quads going on there. Now to get the glutes to match up!

In other news, the slab for our new house got poured yesterday and today the builders are there with all of the framing. It is amazing to see it coming together so fast - which reminds me that I must get my camera out to take some shots.

Giving Kale a Second Chance

I have been on a veggie bender of late and went to the Organic Food Markets in Brisbane with Nicole and Shelley on the weekend and bought two bunches of kale and some Swiss Chard. I made a stir fry out of the kale and added mirin at the end to apparently break down the stalks somewhat. I also made up a batch of quinoa. It is amazing how far half a cup of quinoa will take you.

Anyway had this yesterday with some poached chicken breast which was quite nice but today's serving just tasted terrible, so bitter and twisted that I was seriously eyeing off the sausage rolls in the freezer at Coles on the way home and stroking the bottles of Diet Coke in the fridge near the checkouts (they must be there for a reason!) , thinking that the whole organic lifestyle thing just sucks! But on further reading, it seems that once kale is picked you have to eat it fairly quickly, otherwise it will go bitter. I'm going to try another recipe tonight that's designed for kids (I figure if kids will eat it, then it should be a cinch for adults) - Crispy Kale - I will report back on that one. The quinoa wasn't much better tasting either - it's not bad, but it's not as tasty as a serve of brown rice! It's probably all in the cooking!

The upside of all of this better eating and drinking is that I'm drinking a lot more water than I was. I even have special stainless steel bottle (1L) and my goal is to get through three of these a day.

Training with Mrs Biologica was awesome today - improved in the bench press doing 4 x 4 of 45kg with good technique which is wonderful for a little whippersnapper like me as well as some pretty nasty pronated grip rows, trap raises and then 4 cycles of vomit worthy HIIT cardio on the elliptical. I hate the elliptical at the best of times and here was Mrs B telling me not to be a pussy and to bring it (thank you BTW!). Then it was my turn..."c'mon you little piss ant!" (it's the only fun I can have telling someone that deadlifts 120kg without batting an eyelid..). Had a great post workout meal and chat and then it was back home to shoulder the chains of learning Step choreo.

Vera decided to complain again about the kale ("surely those Anzac biscuits in the freezer look good") but I've told her to take a hike by slapping her down with a spear of organic asparagus..thwack!!!

Book Meme

he BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here... how do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Copy this onto your blog. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag people if you like...I'm too lazy....

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien x
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible – x (some of)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy x
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare x
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier x
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams x
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy x
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x
34 Emma-Jane Austen x
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossein
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery x
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen x
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens x
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle x
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton x
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute x
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

36...could be much worse. Looks like I have a few books to catch up on!

I think they said...

RIDE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!

After feeling rather tired yesterday, I was disappointed to wake up still feeling a bit wiped out and seriously considered asking someone else to teach my Hi Performance class this morning but didn't think any of my RPM mates would enjoy a phone call at 5.30am so decided to press on instead.

I have a pretty ingrained Saturday morning routine - get up at 5am, turn on the computer and organize my mix of music for the morning's classes and review the choreography and think of how I'm going to present the class. Usually I will "theme" it and choose groups of similar or very diverse tracks depending on how I am feeling. Today's workout was all about "escalating strength" (I chose the slower, gruntier tracks for my hill climbs today). I slurp up a cup of tea and this morning made myself down a truckload of water as well. After I organize my RPM stuff, I have a big bowl of oats (but I've now seen a very interesting looking brown rice recipe that may just make a splendid breakfast) and some protein powder and read part of the Saturday papers. Then it is off to Fitness First, to teach my class. All of my classes are special to me in one way or another, but this one is my sentimental favourite.

I'm so glad I decided to teach this morning - up on stage it felt magic and my motivational cues revolved around the fact that a roof panel was missing "you're all riding so well, you're raising the roof! How are your beliefs limiting your potential? (I am a sucker for all of this stuff in a class, and in training) - 63 minutes of pure sweaty blissful endorphins. Aaah!

Got home and had my planned meal. Don't think that fellow even touched the sides. Waited fifteen minutes and still hungry. So I had a yummy piece of spelt toast with some vegemite which hit the spot perfectly. Wasn't on my plan for the day, but here's the thing - your body does not always agree with the plans you have for it. Besides if your hunger is purely physical, there is nothing to regret about fulfilling your needs no matter what you think your plan is.

You're stronger than you think!

I couldn't resist throwing another Bionic Woman picture in for today's post as I had a cracker of a training session and am feeling, well, rather bionic.

Today's workout included push presses, pull ups (with a little band lovin'), push ups and one armed rows. I've mentioned it before that the beauty of having a great training partner is that they often have more confidence in your ability to lift heavy weights than you do. I honestly thought that I wouldn't squeak out any more than a 17.5kg row, but I was pushed to 20kg and surprised myself with 5 reps (getting a tad sloppy towards the end though!). Then we reflected on how such simple exercises, when executed with good technique, such as cable external shoulder rotations and side BOSU planks could make two strong girls cry!

So, here I am, bathing in a sea of blissful endorphins waiting for my friend, "Mr Doms" (or "Domsy" for short) to arrive. I'm sure that I'll be feeling the effects of this workout tomorrow morning! In my state of bliss, I'm reflecting now on what makes being a fitness junkie so much fun.

After teaching a cracker RPM class in the CBD yesterday as well as Bodystep at Indro (which I felt was also quite good), I decided that what I love about teaching so much and fitness in general is that you never stop improving, that every workout you do is a chance to be better, fitter, faster or stronger - or even just mentally tougher (I'm thinking of Track Six, "Lbby Haba" yesterday!). After today's strength training session, I'm feeling that same enjoyment and the improvements we're making are translating into small changes in our physiques - I was blown away by how Shelley's back was looking on Tuesday and I felt that my shoulders were looking like two little boulders today... Weird, even though I look at myself whilst I'm training, I don't look closely.

All happy on the nutrition front as well, inspired by Katie, I've ditched the Diet Coke as well. I go through phases with this - sometimes I don't drink it at all for a bit, but when I start again, it soon escalates into more than a can a day - so out it goes. Plus with the next house payment due any day it's something I can ill afford anyway.

A lean lifestyle is a choice

I was having a conversation with myself yesterday that went along the lines of:

"Why not have a mouthful of *insert name of any crap here* just like everyone else. Other people can eat treats so why can't you?"

"Living a fit lifestyle means eating to fuel a fit lifestyle. I don't see where *insert name of any processed crap* fits into the equation."

Needless to say, Vera Sluttinski is looking for a new home somewhere else with her mate Inner Gollum.

Anyone wanting to take on a boarder?


Living fit in the long term is really a lifestyle choice. I'm proud to honour myself with nutritious fare that keeps me on the top of my game!

Training today: Just taught an awesome Step class and now off to teach RPM!

You'd better be running!

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” - Herb Caen

I'm back from a week's holiday and I've hit the ground running! So excited to be training again, I've attached one of my "Bionic Woman" shots - trained with Mrs Biologica this morning and I'm still on such a high from a good solid pasting with this new program including 5 sets of bench presses, neutral grip incline DB presses, pronated grip seated rows and posterior trap raises. We also got into some core work and both of us were pleasantly surprised by how easy we found our side bridges (have to remember that all of that heavy sh*t we lift has a strengthening effect on the core!)

I've also really been enjoying my chow - as I blogged previously chicken thighs have been on the menu as well as a yummy prawn stirfry with lots of vegetables and a few nuts sprinkled on top. When I was in Byron I stocked up on fresh seafood (the local seafood place is amazing) and bought fresh Yellowfin tuna, bream, trevally and local prawns. The best part is taking these amazing meals to work - I get several comments on them from the staff and think that there is nothing nicer than this beautiful healthy food I'm eating. Don't get me wrong, I still like the odd bit of Dirty Diana, but a Dirty Diana treat for me now is creamy natural yoghurt with Metabolic Drive and freshly sliced strawberries and the occasional Horley's Carbless Crunch bar.

I'm amazed by my shift in thinking as I used to think of Paleolithic eating as a prison sentence - but I can see how much more clearly I seem to be able to think and how much calmer I feel and know there's definitely advantages in the "eating cleaner" pathway for me.

Hunger or Habit?

Today's post is a continuum of all things emotional eating and how habits are formed. I think it explains why we can relapse or revert back to emotional eating when the going gets tough. Let's face it, when you're on a mission, it's relatively easy to lose weight - you're pumped, you're focused, you've got the goal. I speak to so many people who tell me, "I'll never regain it!" only to end up regaining and then some - in the meantime those who are in diet mode look on smugly and say, "I'll never be like that!". However, unless you do the work upstairs, this is EXACTLY what will happen.

Our responses to stressors are often learned. I know that when I was a child, the last thing that I felt when I was stressed or anxious, was hungry. I learned the behaviour through seeing patterns in my family and in others - "eat something and you'll feel better". So naturally, some event happened, I ate to "feel better" and off I went. I would feel stressed, tired and anxious on coming home from work, so I ate something to feel better. Eventually I just used to come home from work tired and not particularly stressed - what would I do - eat something! And although a stressor was the initial driver, the habit still remained. Do it over and over again for long enough and it becomes an ingrained habit. Get anxious? Eat! Get bored? Eat!

This behaviour peaked after my second daughter was born. When she was nearly two I started to change my lifestyle for the better. I lost the weight, I did three Figure Comps , and yes, I worked on the mental side of things on the way down. And yes, for the most part, I've done pretty well with maintenance.

However my experiences this year are a potent reminder that "life is managed, not cured" - you don't just lose the weight and be done - you spend your life literally being a continual work in progress. My own experiences with both internal and external stressors this year have seen some habits that I thought I had seen the last of, return with a vengeance. It's been a reminder to focus on what I want, not what I don't want.

One habit that I'm reacquainting myself is mindfulness - it's impossible to be mindful and savour your food when you're in the grip of an emotional eating experience. In an emotional eating experience, "hunger" is immediate and insistent whereas if nature takes it's course, true hunger builds gradually and it's easier to go for nutritious food rather than crap that doesn't do you any good.

Tonight I had chicken thighs for dinner with brown rice,broccoli and almonds, inspired by Katie Pirate and Miss Shelley - I've always been a breasts kinda girl and a bit of extra fat has left me feeling full and content. I think Cavewoman Liz is going to have to have a new rule when approaching a chook - eat the legs first!

reflections on emotional eating

I've been on holidays this week in Byron Bay and under the influence of sea, salt, sand and lots of walking have gradually moved from being anxious, cranky city chick to a more chilled sort of gal.

It certainly didn’t start off very rosy on the first day of proceedings where we all decided to walk along the beach towards “The Pass” . We had to walk along a footpath to get to the beach and DH who was adjusting his cap did not see the boot door of a camper trailer that was lifted up and obscuring half of the footpath. He smacked into it with one hell of a bang and immediately fell to the ground clutching his forehead and writhing in pain. There was copious amounts of blood everywhere and a camper trailer full of foreign backpackers that didn’t know a stitch of English. My first aid skills kicked in pretty smartly and soon I’d managed to pad up his scalp and organize a lift to the local hospital, which was conveniently located across the road from our digs. An hour or so later, we left with three stitches and some Panadol and went to a cafe to have a cup of coffee. I’m usually pretty calm under pressure, but after we left I felt increasingly anxious as I watched my family tuck into second breakfast, anxious about the events that had just unfolded and anxious that because I wasn’t hungry, I’d “miss out” later on when everyone else was full and I had eventually become hungry...and these emotions hammered away at me all day (with old Inner Gollum telling me I’d feel better if I ate something), until I decided to journal these thoughts, rationally negate them and tell myself that it was perfectly natural to feel shaken up by the day’s events and just to feel them, rather than eat them.

I have been doing a lot of reading about emotional, or non hungry eating lately - why do we all engage in non hungry eating as well as eating when we are actually hungry? And how is it that some of us can become so disconnected from ourselves that we no longer can read our hunger signals and we’ve equated the sensation of hunger to something so unpleasant we feel it shouldn’t be experienced?

My first aid experience with my husband highlighted that when I open the door to emotional eating, that much of the time, the driving emotion behind such eating is anxiety. My theory is that eat in response to this (or any emotion) enough and you start to form habits which remain long after the emotion has left the building. And habits can be difficult to break. Eat too “artificially” - that is eating to a set schedule, rather than learning to roll with your hunger, banning certain foods (because you’re not “allowed” to have them - and I don’t mean all the highly processed junk out there that I feel honoured not to have) and perpetually trying to lean out 24/7 just amplifies that ‘hunger switch’ even more.

Emotional eating can happen to any of us, but it’s how you deal with it and understand the underlying motives that really make or break you.

A few things that I have practiced this week in response to feeling like I have wanted to eat out of emotion rather than hunger and that may help you if you’re struggling with this right now is:

• listen to your body as you eat - savour every mouthful, eat as slowly as possible. Assess your hunger before you start - take a few mouthfuls, how are you feeling now? My example of this - I’ve just been out for lunch and had pizza. I had two smallish slices and stopped. Why? Even though I was ravenous to begin with, I ate very slowly and mindfully and was amazed that I was pleasantly satisfied after, what is for me when I go out for pizza, a relatively small amount.
• be an observer - just watch what you eat and make some mental notes about what preceded your meal. Did you decide to eat because you were hungry or did you eat for another reason? Be impassive, don’t judge, just watch - soon you will find out the drivers behind what is making you eat for reasons other than hunger.
• once you’ve pinpointed your driver, feel out that emotion a bit more. eg My example - feeling anxious and wanting to eat something actually translated to feeling anxious about wanting to have a catnap after lunch (traditionally I’ve not been a nap type of girl) ----> solution ----> go and lie down with a book and close eyes if it feels good. Must also note that if you’re tired, leptin production drops which biologically drives appetite upwards - so stay rested!

Some may ask that why as a coach, why I would choose to write that sometimes I have trouble dealing with emotional eating and secondly that as a wellness type I’m writing about my cheese laden pizza lunches(on a gluten free base, lol). I think that it’s very important to keep it real. I had so much going on emotionally after my last comp prep (which eventuated in my photo shoot) that habits that I thought I’d killed off a long time ago came galloping back at full force. However, I’m working on it and choosing to win.

I’m not perfect..

I’m fine, just the way I am.

I’m consistent

and I feel blessed that I have these opportunities to learn and grow with.

I love it when a plan comes together!

Who remembers the "A-Team", way back when.  This is where one of my favourite quotes comes in " I love it when a plan comes together!"

I've been wrestling for awhile with the concept of getting the old work life balance right for me - like many of us, I've been trying to find what I want to say YES to because as DG tells me, saying "yes" to something means saying "no" to something else.  I have a tendency to allow myself to become really overloaded, trying to help so many people out that anything I do of value gets diluted.

I've been to-ing and fro-ing in my mind about what exactly I wanted to do when suddenly a few ideas hit me and I started feeling genuinely excited about "what could be" down the track.

Without sounding too mysterious, I'm planning on revamping and changing the nature of my coaching business over the next few months - I've  been mulling over this for awhile now - so watch this space as I make some changes!   

I also mentioned a few months ago changing over to Wordpress - this I am going to put into action shortly, so like Miss Katie, I'm going to try and do some blog renovation.

Thirdly, even if I am asked, I am not going to do any more pharmacy locums than what I am already doing.  I need to set my boundaries more.  Family and fitness first for me.

Fourthly, I really want to take my strength training up to a new level.   I have been having a wonderful time training with Shelley and it's really motivating seeing both of us improving - I've always been a real loner on the training front (due to previous training experiences where I'd get really annoyed with my training partner for not pushing hard enough etc) and it is just so fantastic that we're in sync when it comes to our goals of being lean and superfit chicks as well as being f*ckin massive, all rolled into one.

Hmm, what else?  The house building started officially this week.  Our land, which was barren on Monday has turned into a hive of activity over the last week with the footings for the slab going down and the water tank going in (we got one of those nifty 'buried' jobs), on today's brief inspection, there were several pallets of bricks on the block.   The slab is going to be elevated just over a metre in parts to allow us to maximize the views of the city (yes, we've got city views, am I excited much?).

Finding Out What Works

I've got a day off today as my poor Miss G has the flu - I've been up most of the night trying to drop her temperature down and consequently I'm rather tired as well. It's a good thing actually as I have been having problems with my left ankle and am hoping that I don't have the beginnings of a stress fracture there (I've been giving the old bod a lot more impact than usual) - I had to cancel my appointment with the physio and yesterday started some rather aggressive antiinflammatory drugs and some ice which has settled it down somewhat today. I will have tomorrow off cardio again and fingers and toes are crossed that Georgia will be well enough so that I can train upper body again tomorrow - unfortunately not looking too promising, but that is life.

Plan is to take all of next week off as we are off to Byron Bay for a week's holiday - then it's back to one Bodystep and 3 RPMs a week which will be just perfect for me. I'm also planning some new strength training stuff in my bid to get stronger - a sixteen week program, broken into 4 distinct blocks of effort. Sixteen weeks is a long time to commit to, but if I can break it down into smaller efforts, I think I may just get there. Now that the Step is scaling back to once a week, I should be able to start training my lower bod - not sure if I'm looking forward to that or not!

I've also been thinking a bit about the best way of learning what works for me in terms of staying lean and fit. The only way to find out is to try different approaches - some will work really well, others will be a bit "meh" (thanks Carolyn!) and others will fail spectacularly.

So here's my list:
What works:
*eating mostly Paleo style with one serve of grains per day (usually oats, quinoa, rice or potato)
*having a few non Paleo meals across the week - I really love having a protein bar every few days and a bit of natural yoghurt
*high fat, high protein meals are sometimes excellent as a treat meal and keep me feeling full for hours
*high carb meals feel great if I'm carb depleted
*making sure I don't let myself ever get too hungry or too full (achieving this state is a real art)
*staying connected with my emotional state and asking myself before I eat something "is there some other way of dealing with "x problem" that would make me feel better than eating something?"
*positive thinking and reinforcement (I tell myself "good job", every time I make an eating decision that honours my body rather than abuses it).

What doesn't work:
*highly processed wheat based products (I have the swollen joints and skin rash to prove it)
*highly processed sugary/fatty junk food (I am no different to the rest of the human population)
*not keeping my emotions in check
*negative thinking
*letting myself get too hungry
*listening to my "Inner Gollum/Vera Sluttinski" rather than my voice of prevaling sanity.

There is No Negotiation!

Oooh, I'm feeling the DOMS love today. Yesterday Shelley helped me with my training at Fitness First Jindalee and my lats and triceps are on fire today. I'm slowly making more progress across the board with my overall strength - have even progressed to holding a weight between my knees as I do bodyweight tricep dips (see pic ). I did pretty well, knocking out 2 sets of 8 with the weight. I turned to Shelley and said, "how about we just take the weight away for the last set?"

As soon as I had uttered that sentence, I knew that my timing had not been the best.

"There is no negotiation!" she said. Indeed, there wasn't! I managed to power through 4 more reps with weight and then polished myself off quite thoroughly to failure. That is the beauty of having someone to push you when you think you can't possibly get another rep in.

Rolled over in bed this morning, my lats are on fire. It's such a great feeling to be pushing the boundaries in the strength department.

Today though has been all about cardio - taught Bodystep this morning - very enjoyable and I worked really really hard (must be because I haven't done any cardio since last Saturday!) - again, you get so much more out of your workout when you give your body appropriate time to recover.

Thanks..

for al the feedback on the gut situation :)

I think Charlotte is right, it's wheat intolerance, rather than gluten intolerance as such. I'm looking into getting some more allergy testing done. Belly is still full of knots but am doing so much better on vegetables, fruits , lean protein and keeping everything relatively plain.

So hopefully the only "toot" you hear from Queensland will be that of the Queensland Rail...

Achey Breaky Guts

Anyone else out there intolerant to wheat or gluten? I had some Naan bread last night and since then my poor old belly has been in knots and a world of pain. Back off the bread today, that is for sure and slowly less gassy and feeling better.