Criticism and Caring

Can't believe it's Saturday again and what a week it has been in this particular neck of the woods. The wonderful thing about blogging is that it can really generate lots of feeling and discussion on all sorts of topics.

The issue of "criticism" came up a number of times and I thought it worthwhile to blog more about the subject. Here's an excerpt from www.cracked.com about two forms of criticism.

Constructive Feedback

So you're working on your novel and you want people to tell you how great it is, and give you ideas to make it even greater. You might pass some copies to your friends or post it somewhere on the internet, and ask for feedback.

A lot of the time people misunderstand and tell you what's wrong with your work and give you suggestions to improve it. Seriously, how is that supposed to help? I guess people are just jerks sometimes.

Seriously, though, you will get all kinds of responses, from helpful people who have good suggestions to well-meaning people with bad suggestions to assholes who put you down but do not have any suggestions. Since you can't seal yourself like a hermit and avoid all criticism, you are just going to have to learn to sift and filter all this and smile politely at everyone, since you did ask for it.

3. Personal Criticism

Sometimes people will criticize you for very personal things, like the fact you are 400 pounds, or that your mother sleeps around with many men. This is actually worse on the internet than face-to-face, which is puzzling because while internet anonymity means people feel freer to say these things, internet anonymity also means that those on the receiving end must know their accuser is pulling this all out of their ass since all they can see is a username and some words.

Nevertheless, people get very angry about being told that they are fat, or smelly, or have sex with animals, by an accuser who can't see or smell them and had no way of seeing what happened with that goat behind closed doors. (They were just talking.) If these things constantly upset you, it might be worth exploring why.

The author at Cracked.com makes an excellent point that you need to learn to sift and filter all of this. Some of us may be frightened of getting run over by a bus or savaged by sharks, but many of us are even bigger wusses when it comes to handling criticism. I believe that if you choose to make your presence public on the Internet whether by blogging or Facebooking or Twittering, then you need to be aware that criticism is a possibility. We need to accept we're all "fair game".

I don't know anyone who enjoys being criticized. It's a wonderful feeling to get positive affirmations for what you do and how you live. However, when someone drops a big "C" bomb on you (btw, that's criticism, not something else!), you can feel hurt, confused and rather aggrieved. In reality though, it's a gift that enables you to self evaluate, filter and integrate if need be. I equate criticism with caring - some of the most defining moments in my life have come as a result of being criticized - yes, it has hurt but knowing that somebody cared enough to give you that gift can propel you forward. Criticism can strip us back to our soul, and encourage humility which in turn leads to personal growth.

In the realms of Group Fitness, any coach wanting to improve undergoes a filming and assessment process. Everything gets broken down and critical feedback given where required. As a GFI, you want constructive feedback, but at the same time it's a little scary. However, the process I've gone through for RPM has taught me to be less fearful of criticism and hence I feel that I've become more open in terms of my own personal growth. I've also learned how hard it can be for the assessor to be critical. I've had a few discussions with my mentor about how some people can't handle the truth. It's difficult for him as well, having put the time in to assess and give the feedback in the first place.

The other interesting thing I saw this week was a post with a defence of eating organically - maybe prompted by this post and perhaps the fun I poked at those who wipe their butts with organic toilet paper. Disclaimer - the toilet paper was all in good fun.... My opinion of the whole organic debate that it would be fantastic if animal husbandry and general farming practice could swing towards more organic production. I completely understand why many people choose to eat organic food and adopt a healthy lifestyle. No criticism there from me (though I do think organic toilet paper may be taking things too far lol!) If I can afford it, I eat organic produce too, purchased at our local markets. However, being able to eat exclusively organic foods is out of the reach of most Australian families. From what I've read, some farming practices that produce organic foods are way more labour intensive than other ways. I don't know whether this is the case for all organic produce but it all comes down to economic viability for many producers at the end of the day.

If we are to be passionate about giving Australians more choice in the foods that they buy by being able to reduce the cost of production of organic products, we need to start at the grassroots level. I don't claim to have any expertise in this area, but small and sustainable changes to practice may just be the way to go.

In the meanwhile, there are simple ways to remove pesticide residue from produce (washing before using is an excellent start) and to avoid preservatives (more fruit and veg, less processed stuff). Heck, there's even a good argument for the responsible use of animal protein which is well illustrated by our Indigenous people and American Indians - if an animal was killed, the entire carcass would find a use - no leftovers.. which meant animal protein was consumed sparingly. Of course there are different theories on this - I found my lone sociology subject to be very interesting!

Alone in the Universe

To quote a really dreadful film - "It appears the question of whether we are alone in the Universe has been answered". Before I go any further, that "really dreadful" film was "Independence Day" where Bill Pullman was cast as the President of the United States - the outcome wasn't good.

Back to my quote - it seems sometimes as if the Blogging Community is quite small. You find a niche to blog about - in my case, when I started my blog, it was about preparing for a Figure Competition. I found like minded individuals doing the same thing and blogging about it and soon an online figure/bodybuilding community began to develop.

Since my competitive days and due to all sorts of circumstances, I'm more about long term health and fitness and a mix of different stuff rather than bodybuilding alone. I still coach girls in prepping for a comp the sane way, but my interests are diversifying as my fitness pursuits change. All of a sudden I'm finding others in the Universe who are just like me - dabbling in all sorts of fitness related stuff and writing some really terrific blogs and inspiring me to introduce myself and leave a comment.

I think that meeting other bloggers who are travelling similar paths is awesome. I get inspiration, encouragement and smiles all wrapped up as one! Not all the blogs I come across are interesting - which leads me to the question of what do you all think makes someone's blog stand out? Is it the writing, is it the journey itself or is it the attitude?

As Molly Meldrum would say, "go and do yourselves a favour" and travel past your usual reading list. You'll be delighted at just who is out there. Conversely, if you're reading this and you've travelled a long way from your usual reading list, please say hello!

Stepping Up!

I woke up feeling much better today and got to teach Bodystep this morning which was great fun. It's my "fun" factor class and my one class a week is a wonderful contrast to my four "tough nut" RPM classes. I believe the hardest part about returning after illness is taking things a little slower and building up to full tilt gradually. I tend to remember how fit I was before illness, and sometimes I have to adjust my attitude and tell myself it is perfectly fine to ease back into things. I must be on the mend as I'm feeling really good after class and have just enjoyed a huge plate of fish and vegetables. Yum yum!

I'm glad that the response to my blog spring clean has been positive. Even though I really enjoyed doing my Figure Comps, that phase for me is over and I feel more focused on living a healthy lifestyle and encouraging others to do the same and find their happy place with their training and exercise. Life is full of flux and it's really exciting to watch all the changes people make - Lisa posted yesterday about her "retirement" from powerlifting and her enjoyment of Cross Fit. Shelley's thinking of doing some powerlifting. Fern is caning Crossfit and only eating out of Tupperware when she takes her lunch to work. What is next on the fitness cards for me, I don't know but I'm just enjoying every workout and going with the flow.

Actually I do have something lined up next Wednesday - I'm doing Yoga with Lynne after teaching my Bodystep class - Lynne does my Step class and I thought I would try out Yoga after seeing how "connected" she is within herself - a good time to slow down, focus on being mindful and still - will see how it goes and report back!

Credit where Credit is Due...

I've had this post bubbling away in me for quite a while, but hadn't known exactly how I wanted to express it. As is usual Liz standard, I'm just jumping headlong into this one boots and all.

When I started this blog back in 2006, it was to serve the purpose of writing about my journey to my second Figure Competition and my thoughts about prepping, training and eating well in a remote location. Things have changed a lot since then - as many of you would know, I started my online coaching business, "The Fitness Solution" in early 2007. I consider myself extremely privileged to have had the opportunity to connect with so many clients who have also become good friends. I have learned so much from my clients and have also learned about myself in the process - and have used my blog as a platform from which to dish my perspective about a whole slew of things, from fitness training through to emotional eating through to life's everyday mysteries. When I hear that something I have written about has had a positive effect on someone else or that another blogger relates to whatever conundrum I'm posting about, I'm really pleased. Even better, it's fantastic when you get credited publicly for such effect.

It also works in reverse - I have met so many bloggers who have inspired or helped me with a post that they have written and because I know how good I feel when I get credited for my stuff, I try to ensure I credit them if I am writing about something that has been directly inspired by them (for example, I couldn't write about Lamb Saag without crediting Kek ) . It's basic good manners and I believe that good manners makes the world a better place, because without good manners, the world can go downhill pretty fast.

The past few months I have been a victim of what I would call the one lowest common denominator in the variety of Online Pond Scum - that is the Copyright/Moral rights infringer. I have seen my blog posts and parts of my blog posts turn up on other peoples' websites/blogs as if they were their own. I've even had a forum post I wrote to help someone on a fitness forum turn up as someone else's work. The scary part was that I didn't know until a few readers sent me emails alerting me to the infringements.

Seeing this has really stirred up different emotions in me - the first initially was that I couldn't believe that anyone would want to plagiarize my writing and then that quickly turned to feeling like I'd been violated. I had thoughts of taking my blog private and thought that it might be a shame if anything I write really helps anyone. I don't want to sound like I have tickets on myself, but if I've helped make the world a better place, it's been worth it.

Being the idealist that I am, I hired a solicitor who is helping me sort out these issues. (compensation and removal of my writing from certain sites/blogs) I'm certainly not going to profit financially from any of this but I hope I'm sending a strong message that I will stand up to anyone I see trying to profit from my writing (or anyone else dear to me for that matter).

The more I've thought about it, I think that much of it boils down to really bad manners and some naivety on my part - I really believe that 99% of us are good, 99% of us do have good manners and give credit where it is due. I also want to stress to be wary of what you post in an Internet forum, even if it is with the good intentions of helping others or Facebook or Twitter for that matter.

I'm not going to stop writing and I can safely say that others influence my blogging in a big way. That said though, I want to ensure that I give credit where it is due and ask for the same in return.