Freedom and poo flinging

This post is a bit of a wrap up of the week and more social commentary on values, bullying and the right to freedom of expression.

I'll rewind back to Monday - after teaching RPM (which I knew was going to be hairy after my weekend workload), I had my second cortisone AC injection and then went to have lunch with some ladies from the gym who are Step and RPM regulars. Our morning group ranges from the very young to participants who have retired and I was delighted to receive the invitation. These ladies (who are all somewhere between late 50s and 60s) are a true inspiration to me. We shared stories around the table about our upbringing and education. One of my RPMers who is in her 60s and a retired Social Worker broke through the barrier that existed at the time that dictated men were those who received an education at university. She had to fight tooth and nail and ended up doing two degrees and her Masters and worked for most of her life, even with children - no childcare back then! Others were fluent in more than one language and well travelled. They all spoke about how their upbringing had shaped them - I could relate to Mrs S (Social Worker) - my mother fought tooth and nail to be able to study her Senior Certificate. Then she did her degree and part of her Masters by correspondence as she raised us all. In my family, the concept of a good education has been extremely important. From a young age, critical thinking and healthy debate has been encouraged and still goes on to this day. Both of my parents relish debates, Scrabble and anything study related. Back in the day, my mother and I would wait outside Newspaper House at an obscene hour waiting for our exam results to be published in the newspaper and wanting to get first dibs on our scores.

It's little wonder then that I love nothing better than a good debate - not a personal slanging match but a few good old fashioned rounds of "pro" and "con", "for" and "against". My mother used to rue the fact that she loved a debate because she didn't feel like it made her very popular - that she'd try and hold it in when she saw things that she considered to be "bull" and then she'd have to let it all out - her values eventually overrode the need to be liked.

I must admit to feeling the same way - if things rub up against my values, I have this inexplicable want to share my perspective! Of course, I'm not always right - being proven incorrect is a learning opportunity but I wish that more people focused on the subject of debate rather than getting personal.

Which leads me to my not-so-anonymous bully poster who, despite repeated attempts, isn't going to get too far with this little black duck - think the time has come to give it up and get on with your own stuff.

James Cook University has an excellent definition of bullying:

"

Definition of Bullying

Bullying constitutes unsolicited, offensive treatment through:

• vindictive;

• cruel;

• malicious, or

• humiliating

attempts to undermine an individual or group. These persistently negative attacks on personal and professional performance are typically unpredictable, irrational and often unseen. Bullying normally consists of repeated behaviour.

Bullying is NOT - constructive analysis or critical evaluation of a product, person or group.

Bullying is NOT to be confused with freedom of expression - that is the right of the individual to be able to express an opinion or view about anything.

We all have the right to freedom of expression - this is the cornerstone on which democracy is built. We have the right to read what we want to read and say what we need to say as long as we are not impinging on anyone's basic human rights.

I think it is extremely important to delineate between constructive criticism, critical evaluation and bullying behaviour. I think it's also very important to understand that we make the choice to read a blog. It's also important to realize that not everyone is the same as you or me and that not everyone will agree with what you or I write - which is more than fair.

My true passions lie in making reliable fitness and health information accessible for anyone that wants to make positive changes in their life, whether that is doing a Figure Comp, going for a swim, doing RPM or taking a walk with your baby in the pram. I am lucky that I have the background to do just that. I have also shared some of my personal journey in the hope that what I write just might help someone else. I will "fling poo" at concepts I believe are scams in the hope of helping someone make an informed decision. I now need to find a special "poo flinger" bumper sticker.

AT the end of the day, getting healthier and fitter should be fun (and not too expensive). Don't get me wrong, I'd love a 10K bike, but me and mine are doin' fine, just like peas and carrots. Have fun, life is short!

Criticism and Caring

Can't believe it's Saturday again and what a week it has been in this particular neck of the woods. The wonderful thing about blogging is that it can really generate lots of feeling and discussion on all sorts of topics.

The issue of "criticism" came up a number of times and I thought it worthwhile to blog more about the subject. Here's an excerpt from www.cracked.com about two forms of criticism.

Constructive Feedback

So you're working on your novel and you want people to tell you how great it is, and give you ideas to make it even greater. You might pass some copies to your friends or post it somewhere on the internet, and ask for feedback.

A lot of the time people misunderstand and tell you what's wrong with your work and give you suggestions to improve it. Seriously, how is that supposed to help? I guess people are just jerks sometimes.

Seriously, though, you will get all kinds of responses, from helpful people who have good suggestions to well-meaning people with bad suggestions to assholes who put you down but do not have any suggestions. Since you can't seal yourself like a hermit and avoid all criticism, you are just going to have to learn to sift and filter all this and smile politely at everyone, since you did ask for it.

3. Personal Criticism

Sometimes people will criticize you for very personal things, like the fact you are 400 pounds, or that your mother sleeps around with many men. This is actually worse on the internet than face-to-face, which is puzzling because while internet anonymity means people feel freer to say these things, internet anonymity also means that those on the receiving end must know their accuser is pulling this all out of their ass since all they can see is a username and some words.

Nevertheless, people get very angry about being told that they are fat, or smelly, or have sex with animals, by an accuser who can't see or smell them and had no way of seeing what happened with that goat behind closed doors. (They were just talking.) If these things constantly upset you, it might be worth exploring why.

The author at Cracked.com makes an excellent point that you need to learn to sift and filter all of this. Some of us may be frightened of getting run over by a bus or savaged by sharks, but many of us are even bigger wusses when it comes to handling criticism. I believe that if you choose to make your presence public on the Internet whether by blogging or Facebooking or Twittering, then you need to be aware that criticism is a possibility. We need to accept we're all "fair game".

I don't know anyone who enjoys being criticized. It's a wonderful feeling to get positive affirmations for what you do and how you live. However, when someone drops a big "C" bomb on you (btw, that's criticism, not something else!), you can feel hurt, confused and rather aggrieved. In reality though, it's a gift that enables you to self evaluate, filter and integrate if need be. I equate criticism with caring - some of the most defining moments in my life have come as a result of being criticized - yes, it has hurt but knowing that somebody cared enough to give you that gift can propel you forward. Criticism can strip us back to our soul, and encourage humility which in turn leads to personal growth.

In the realms of Group Fitness, any coach wanting to improve undergoes a filming and assessment process. Everything gets broken down and critical feedback given where required. As a GFI, you want constructive feedback, but at the same time it's a little scary. However, the process I've gone through for RPM has taught me to be less fearful of criticism and hence I feel that I've become more open in terms of my own personal growth. I've also learned how hard it can be for the assessor to be critical. I've had a few discussions with my mentor about how some people can't handle the truth. It's difficult for him as well, having put the time in to assess and give the feedback in the first place.

The other interesting thing I saw this week was a post with a defence of eating organically - maybe prompted by this post and perhaps the fun I poked at those who wipe their butts with organic toilet paper. Disclaimer - the toilet paper was all in good fun.... My opinion of the whole organic debate that it would be fantastic if animal husbandry and general farming practice could swing towards more organic production. I completely understand why many people choose to eat organic food and adopt a healthy lifestyle. No criticism there from me (though I do think organic toilet paper may be taking things too far lol!) If I can afford it, I eat organic produce too, purchased at our local markets. However, being able to eat exclusively organic foods is out of the reach of most Australian families. From what I've read, some farming practices that produce organic foods are way more labour intensive than other ways. I don't know whether this is the case for all organic produce but it all comes down to economic viability for many producers at the end of the day.

If we are to be passionate about giving Australians more choice in the foods that they buy by being able to reduce the cost of production of organic products, we need to start at the grassroots level. I don't claim to have any expertise in this area, but small and sustainable changes to practice may just be the way to go.

In the meanwhile, there are simple ways to remove pesticide residue from produce (washing before using is an excellent start) and to avoid preservatives (more fruit and veg, less processed stuff). Heck, there's even a good argument for the responsible use of animal protein which is well illustrated by our Indigenous people and American Indians - if an animal was killed, the entire carcass would find a use - no leftovers.. which meant animal protein was consumed sparingly. Of course there are different theories on this - I found my lone sociology subject to be very interesting!

Criticism and on being the best

This post is about criticism and what it takes to be the best.

Constructive criticism to me is like eating certain vegetables (eg chokoes). You know it's good for you, but man, does it suck, whilst it's going down.

Firstly I had an email from Coach Dave yesterday, questioning my position in the whole action game by making the choice to pull out from the competition. Whilst I am still adamant I won't compete this year, his words gave me pause for thought - I've been so busy running around these days, I haven't focused on my own training. No strength training for nearly two weeks - not good. It felt at the time, like an equivalent to a JK Rowling "howler" owl.

Then we had a staff meeting at Fitness First. John spoke brilliantly about "creating magic" in our classes - he was very motivating. However, I suddenly looked around at all my other fellow team members and started having self doubts - the "what if I'm not good enough compared to these guys" types of feelings. I then realized later on that I perform so much better when I follow my own path and not worry about what other people think, especially those I don't really know. John's words, however, really made me feel like I wanted to focus on coaching more in classes, rather than feeling nervous, again, about what my class thinks of me.

I'm happy to report that today's RPM class was great - I really focused on coaching and technique (my RPM strength) and my class - and I was rewarded - one participant told me that that had been the best RPM class he'd ever done. That made me feel good.

Moral of this story is that taking on board constructive criticism and working on things helps you to be more successful in the future. It really bit when Dave contacted me - but it turns out I really did need a good kick in the pants.