Saturday Ramblings

I can't believe it's Saturday already! This morning I taught half of RPM Hi Performance again which was great fun - this week was a bit harder - seemed to take longer to warm up and I used more complex choreo - which I must revise again before I teach tomorrow. I don't have issues learning it but I like to break each track down and add a bit of my own teaching focus to it, which is the hardest part for me. Once I know what I want to focus on, I seem to be able to teach in a much smoother fashion.

I enjoyed a nice Crunchola Recovery meal (lotsa starchy carb) which was nice as I have been very PN compliant this week and only had starchy carb post workout. The problem is that most of my workouts lately I haven't considered "real workouts" - but I am very proud of being able to walk at 6.5km/hr on the treadmill comfortably. I've been experimenting with more fat and nuts, seeds etc - really it is just an excuse for me to get stuck into the Smoked Trout!

I'm slowly stitching up what I need to start at Fitness First from the personal training perspective in August. Yesterday's task was to redo my CPR, which is a once yearly thing for us fitness professional types. Then I met Shelley at FF Indro where I ran through parts of the new program I have written for her. It was actually good practice doing a bit of one on one (you were a great guinea pig Shelley ) and seeing just what I could do comfortably in the gym given my surgical limitations.

Next week marks the 12 week post op mark (Friday) and from this point I have been "cleared to do whatever I like". I may still phone the doc again and confirm this, but I'm looking forward to lifting a few weights and going for a run. I did have a little jig from the bus stop to the car and it felt good! The swelling that I have been complaining about has gone down a lot and I wake up pretty much flat in the mornings and I'm finally used the the shape of my top half. I definitely have no regrets about either surgery now, but the recovery has taken much longer than I would have liked.

Shoulder pain is diminishing and when I lift my arm, the impingement that was there has nearly gone. Neck vertebrae are still stiff, but that doesn't scare me as much as the rotator cuff issue.

To sum up this rather lengthy post - it's all good. I'm really looking forward to beginning the next phase of my journey and becoming really fit, strong and toned again. I can't predict the future past that though!

Friday

Am pleased to say that I was able to participate in another RPM class today and was a little bit better than I was on Wednesday. It's actually good checking out other instructor's classes - without "being under the pump" so to speak, you can evaluate their performance and your performance against theirs and take away both good and not so good experiences and hopefully roll the really good bits into your own teaching.

My weakness is definitely during the standing climbs and transition through to the seated position but I'm sure after another few weeks, I will iron this issue out.

On the whole recovery front, the chest is looking fantastic and the tummy is also looking a lot better and less swollen. It does tend to get swollen and hard at night, particularly after exercise, so I am just slipping into my compression garment and drinking plenty of water. The swelling I am sure is contributing to my weight gain. Three days of eating with more focus but no scale joy yet, that will come - failure cannot handle persistence :) I am happy with how the scar is healing.

My shoulder has improved a lot with the physio, but is still causing a bit of grief. My physio feels like there is more going on in there than should be, so I am booked in to see a Sports Doc up here and have also booked an ultrasound.

Turning a corner

I have been so busy with the events of the weekend that I have not posted any healing updates. I think that getting out and going to the show is one of the best things I could have done - the whole weekend made me forget about my belly which was just fantastic.

I saw the surgeon on Monday and asked why I was so swollen - he immediately palpated my tummy and said - you've got fluid under the skin (with my surgery, the lymphatic system is cut, releasing in fluid build up, hence why there are surgical drains inserted when you wake up). He produced a whopping great needle and instructed me to lie down whilst he drained it. Turns out that I have little pockets of fluid all over my belly and that he would have had to insert the needle over and over again to get it out. He told me that I needed to stand up straighter and he s-l-o-w-l-y pushed me fully upright, telling me that the skin and abdominal muscles needed to rejoin and that by standing up straight, the fluid would be pushed away. In three days I am about 50-70% less swollen, simply amazing. I got clearance to drive and I am taking the girls to and from school. I am still getting very tired, but I am feeling much better. I'm even beginning to consider going Paleo for a few days to give my body a bit more of a detox.

Hump Day

I chose this photo today because I can't wait to get outside a bit more. I'm hopeless at fishing though, just another thing I have to try before I die.

I read Andrea's journal today, she was lamenting that she had nothing to write about, as she has been laid up by injury and is feeling demotivated. I hope she doesn't quit writing just yet and jumps into the "I've got to take time out, I'm fed up, but I'm still going to write," boat with me.

I still have a long way to go before I can even think of any formal exercise, but I can close my eyes and imagine that one day not to far away in the future, I am going to be able to really kick some butt. I've been thinking of the road I took back to fitness when I lost all of my weight, and remember that it was very exciting to see the changes and improvements I was making to my fitness nearly every training session that I did.

I am still trying to work out what is going to thrill me the most, restoring my cardiovascular fitness, or my strength. It is amazing how much we use our abdominals for the most innocuous of movements. I am noticing them when I try and open our sliding door, get out of bed or lift up a carton of milk (yes, you read right!). I think, that given my strength is so limited right now, that improving it will be a real joy.

Closer to standing up straight but not perfect - by the end of the day I am swollen and hunched and sport a pot belly. At least my boobs are now always going to be bigger than my belly.....

Dreaming of RPM

Today I ordered my new Les Mills materials for RPM and Bodystep, which of course got me daydreaming about my potential return to teaching - not for awhile though :)

I am pleased to say that I am almost there with "Project Stand Up Straight". I am one or two degrees off being fully upright, except when I am there it pulls like anything and I can feel where the muscle repair begins at the tip of my xyphoid process (that is the bony prominence where the rib cage meets for interested peeps). I am still swollen and feel/look like a fat bloated cow, but hopped on the scales (didn't know if this was such a wonderful idea but you don't know if you don't go) and found that I have actually dropped weight since having the surgery. I have been trying to eat well for the most part but have found the odd row or two of chocolate sneaking in here and there...guess it has medicinal properties after all.

I'm really looking forward to the INBA show this weekend. Both Michelle and Shelley have done a stellar job and I'm looking forward to meeting Miss Katie this weekend too as well as Carolyn and Selina. After being locked up in hospital and the house for the last four weeks, I'm going to try and contain my excitement at the prospect of a day in the outside world.

struggle street

I have to admit that the last two days have been a real struggle. I have been sore, exhausted, cranky and generally impatient about the whole standing up straight process. I think that I am standing up straighter, but boy is progress slow! Apparently it's quite common to be not standing up straight two week's post surgery so I cannot allow myself to think too much about it and get myself stressed out.

The tiredness has made me feel hungry and I've found myself trolling for food, rather than doing the right thing and lying down. Today I have taken a different approach and am spending more time lying down and the food cravings have dissipated.

The "girls" have started to soften a little bit and feel more natural - already I can't wait to buy some new bras (DH has already thrown out all my old bras in anticipation - 10A, don't think I'll be needing that anymore!). I had been concerned about what his reaction to the new additions would be ie did they look fake, but he has been very positive about everything. The tummy was also less swollen last night and with now being able to stand a little straighter discover that I actually have a waist - just amazing.

At this stage I haven't really let myself get too excited about things yet - I'm still very paranoid about post surgical complications as my last two C-Sections were problematic to say the least. So next step is to work on the post surgery complication fears and relax and start to enjoy my new shape.

patience,grasshopper!

Today I went back to the surgeon and had my last drain removed. Another step in the right direction! My next directive is to stand up straight! Yes, that is my next "training goal" - things in the recovery world are slow and I have to be patient to say the least. My next visit to the surgeon is in a month's time and I was told that if all things were looking good then I would be cleared to do 15 minutes cardio, such as a light walk. Initially, I was feeling a little horrified, then had to remind myself that I cannot stand up straight now and that by the time I get there, 15 minutes of cardio will be quite the accomplishment.

I think I may be a little less swollen than yesterday and may be able to get a better look at things when I have a shower (yes!) tonight. I really have to remind myself at every turn to be patient with this - I must be starting to feel better, even thinking of moving around!

Usually I don't mention my family much in this blog but I have had such amazing support from DH whilst I've been recovering, all meals cooked, washing and ironing done, girls taken to and from school plus looking after me and helping me shower, getting me in and out of bed and putting my tracky daks on for me and generally treating me like a princess. I really want to do something special to say thank you to him, any ideas?

Power of the Shower!

Today I had my first proper shower in 10 days. As I have been wearing a tight compression garment that I couldn't get off, I have had to forgo a decent shower for little bird baths. The compression garment has a peep hole for being able to go to the bathroom without taking the thing off and all I have been talking about for the last ten days is how much I want to have a proper shower.

It all went well at the doc yesterday. I don't know how his nurse did it but she managed to shimmy off my garment with minimal pain. My drain still has to stay in until Wednesday and the doc checked out my chest and belly before declaring all looked good. The nurse changed my dressings on my incision which is a very neat looking line running from hipbone to hipbone. I also have two thin incisions on the undersides of my breasts which haven't bothered me so far. Still very swollen but amazed by the difference!

Today I'm moving a lot better and ambling around the house a bit. Hooray!

I think when things are a bit calmer, I will post some pictures - nothing too graphic I promise, but if anyone is interested in the whole plastic surgery process, it may be useful.

Back in blogland..

Phew, I'm back in blogland at long last. Even though I consider myself a bit of a surgery veteran (after C Sections and appendectomy), I still wasn't prepared for the shock of walking in super fit and returning as weak as a kitten. The breast surgery was a piece of cake but the abdominal surgery is a different story.

Here's my story:
Day One: Required to fast 6 hours pre surgery - decided to be very sparse with the oats (which was not such a great idea as my surgery got delayed by 3-4 hours). If you know how much I enjoy eating, you know how hungry I would have been by then! A long period of waiting and feeling nervous - met the anaethestist (sp?) who was a bit of a groover, got put to sleep and woke up four hours later in recovery with a pain pump full of fentanyl and being told by the recovery nurses to push the button for the pain. After hearing a lot of advice from others who have had the surgery done to really utilize the pain relief, I went for it. Unfortunately, I started throwing up everywhere and went on a 24 hour drug trip, so I voluntarily ceased it. After my fentanyl experience, I can't understand how some drug addicts find pleasure in a drug trip. I was continually stressing about making my RPM HiPerformance class, writing a novel and other weird goings on.

Day Two: Still so nauseated I could not eat anything. I celebrated with DH by knocking off a Milk Coffee biscuit for breakfast and lunch. I can't see anything, I am firmly wrapped up in a compression garment but look down at my chest and think, "wow".

Day Three: Feeling much better and as my implants were placed over the muscle, think that I can readjust my pillows and become more independent. Try a different narcotic which works much better. Turns out that all the moving around is causing the drains that have been inserted in my breasts and tummy to start producing more fluid than they should. Have strict instructions from the doc to start acting like a chicken and to keep my wings in.

Day Four: Constipated...ugh. Had to be the worst day of my life and had to bring in the troops ie enema to help. The student nurse that gave me the enema was luckily very patient and understanding and once things had improved, had got on to talking about personal training. She expressed interest in becoming a client.

Day Five: Feeling better and ready to go home. Doc thinks otherwise. Tells me to keep the marathon running to my mind only. Swing out of bed, feeling a difference in my abs - a lot more supported with them stitched up the middle.

Day Six: Still not cleared to go home. I am cheered up by a visit from Shannon and John and Deb E from Fitness First. I had been feeling so frustrated and it really made my day.

Day Seven: Finally get three of the four drains removed and get ready to go home. I get a peek of the girls for the first time. Panic that they look massive! Think this is going to take some getting used to . In reality, I'm not quite filling out the post operative 12 c bra, why do I feel so...uh..big? I'm not used to being a girly girl. Finally get the dressings removed from belly. It's rather swollen and angry, but there is not a stitch of loose skin, nary a stretch mark to be seen. It looks incredible.

I am sent home in a new compression garment with strict instructions to rest and then to shower the next day.

Day Eight: (yesterday). DH and I cannot get the garment off by ourselves so we are off to the surgeon to have him and his nurse remove it. This was something I hadn't been expecting. Wish me luck getting the sucker off.

It's great to be home and to catch up with the online world. I am looking forward to being able to move more freely and each day is a step in the right direction. The best part is that I feel like in the passage of time, I will come back really strong with my training. I know that I will probably become out of shape over the next few months, but I can focus on eating well and being sensible for a perfect recovery.

Thanks for everyone's well wishes - I really appreciate them!

I really enjoyed everyone's six word memoirs..

"I'm becoming a million dollar baby"

It's another Take 5 - on Saturday

I'm going to follow Leslie's lead and post another Take 5 momentarily but first a quick catch up. We had a pretty quiet Good Friday and this morning, it was business as usual as I taught my weekly Hi Performance RPM. I had a full room which was nice and I felt really good throughout the entire workout. I arrived at Fitness First about 30 minutes early and did 30 minutes of low intensity/drill work before I started and I think that made a huge difference. As we are going away next week for a family holiday, it made me realize that I only have two more RPM Hi Perfomrance classes to teach before my surgery, which I must admit is rather nerve wracking. I'm planning on really caning these next three weeks in terms of exercise - I will run, swim and play tennis whilst we're away and then I'm going for two weeks of grunt before I go into self imposed slugdom for the next few months. I'm not looking forward to this at all as exercise to me is as essential as brushing my teeth, but from what I've read, going back too soon just extends the healing process further.

Here I go...TAKE FIVE:

FIVE Favourite Snack Foods:

1) apples
2) hummus dip and veggies
3) Slim Secrets bars - my favourite being the Rev Up or the Afternoon Snack Attack
4) My Crunchola Recovery meal
5) nectarines, peaches etc with natural yoghurt

FIVE Favourite Quotes:

1) "The heart has reasons the head knows nothing of" Blaise Pascal
2) "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt
3) "I have run the great race, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith." St Paul in Timothy 4:7-8
4)"Anyone can do something when they WANT to do it. Really successful people do things when they don't want to do it" .- Dr. Phil
5)"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right" .- Henry Ford

FIVE Things you love about your job:

1) I get to make a difference in people's lives
2) I get to connect with like minded people with the backdrop of awesome music on a regular basis
3) I get to learn about what makes people tick
4) I see a whole spectrum of emotions in my job and share successes and pick people up when they are feeling down
5) It keeps me feeling young!

FIVE Places I would like to live

1) Oregon, USA
2) Vancouver, Canada
3) Sunshine Coast, Australia
4) Perth, Australia
5) Northern Beaches, Sydney Australia

FIVE Things I love about blogging:

1) I've met some fantastic people blogging
2) I can write about all sorts of dribble whenever I feel like it
3) I have experienced all sorts of perspectives from different bloggers that I really appreciate!
4) It's a way of escaping and connecting with myself.
5) I can practice writing.

feeling my way through big decisions

It's been a few days since I blogged - I've had quite a few issues of a more personal nature to deal with - all is good though and I'm going to talk about one of them right now.

As many of you know, I have been considering having an abdominoplasty for a long time (several years!) and that one of my goals in becoming a Figure Competitor way back when was to see how far I could take my abs without surgery. I am very proud of what I've achieved but could not get rid of the loose skin no matter how hard I tried. Coupled with that I actually had a very funny looking "hole" close to my belly button. My GP suggested I have an abdominoplasty over a year ago, but I wanted to spend 2007 maintaining a stable weight and feeling good about myself. At my last annual check up we discussed it again and I agreed to get a couple of referrals to Plastic Surgeons for muscle repair and removal of the loose skin.

I had my first appointment with a surgeon on Monday morning. I was extremely nervous and self conscious and must have made at least three nervous visits to the bathroom as he was running an hour behind schedule. However the reason for his lateness it seems is the amount of time he spends explaining the surgery to his patients - my consult went for a solid hour. Initially he examined my skin and thought that I could opt for partial repair and then I lay down and he felt my diastasis - it is 10cm wide in places running from my sternum to pubic bone! No wonder I've been having trouble holding my tummy in! He then suggested a full abdominoplasty and showed me exactly what would happen and his unique approach to scar and swelling management. He wasn't confident that it would help my SIJ issues.

Then I don't know what came over me because I then asked him to have a look at my breasts - I didn't want big breasts but was it possible to lift what I had? His answer was that I hadn't really drooped but rather had shrunk and suggested small implants to take me from an saggy A cup to a B cup. He suggested I try on the recommended post surgery bra in the size I wanted. I chose a 12 B (I was a B/C before kids) and was horrifed to see that there was no way I could "fill" this bra. I don't understand why I've been so oblivious to my chest as I haven't worn a proper bra for the last few years, rather using those wonderful Bonds crop top/comp prep bras.

The worst part is that I'll probably have to take six months off training, though the surgeon said I should be back full throttle within about 12 months.

I've spent the better part of the last few days agonizing over this decision - questioning myself - "am I being too vain", "should this be of importance to you?", "is the down time worth it?" , "what if I have complications" etc etc.

Anyway I think I'm going to do it - wish me luck.

Training today:
Heavy legs
Deadlifts
Barbell Front Lunge
Pull Throughs
Single RDLs
Glute Ham raise (oooh aaah)

Run: 60 /60 intervals 20 minutes, 20 minutes steady state