Honour vs Indulgence?

One of the main things I have been taught by DG during my own coaching stint has been the concept of honouring yourself so that you can focus on what is most important.  For example, making sure I get enough "me" time so that I can be fully present for things that are most important (eg relationship with hubs, girls etc).  If I do not honour myself, then how can I possibly help anyone else?   My decision to quit live PT is a classic example of this.  Tomorrow, I do not have to be up at the crack of dawn and I have already planned to walk with the girls to school.  Then I have one client and then I am planning a workout at Fitness First at Jindalee.   To me that's a better use of my time - time doing what is most important and time to honour my body with a workout that I enjoy.

Something that I have been reminded of this week is that there is a big difference between indulgence and honouring.  I've wandered off track with my eating this week, old Gollum grumbling to me all the way and telling me that I deserved treats, I deserved not to deprive myself, because I was falling down on other fronts, why not go ahead and have a big party in my mouth to make me feel better?  Why not have a holiday from the scale whilst I was at it?  

Interestingly none of this behaviour made me focus on what is most important to me at all.  Rather it had me withdrawing and engaging in navel gazing behaviour (which wasn't exactly self loving...).    Plus it gave me a charming 1.5kg increase in scale weight, which I'm none too thrilled about.  In other words, indulgence is not what it's cracked up to be.  In fact the very concept of indulgence is the opposite of what it implies, it can be life sucking.  Look around next time you're in a Food Court at the local shopping centre.  Look at the results of those who decide to indulge themselves on a regular basis.  Do they look happy?  Probably not.  Healthy?  Unlikely.  Heart attack waiting to happen?  Watch this space.

So it's time to whack the paddle in, watch my intake by logging my meals and focus on eating mindfully.     I have to admit that I had been thinking that I have been deprived, but in reality, I've had to grow up and reframe my definition of what deprivation actually is.  Every time I think of "deprivation" I tell myself, that by indulging, I'm depriving myself of the lean and fit body I've grown to love.    Where is the "deprivation" in looking and feeling like a million bucks?  Where is the deprivation in not worrying that my clothes fit me and that I don't have to worry about what I look like?  Where is the deprivation in knowing that in this condition I'm really kicking butt in the gym and teaching RPM?

There's a bit of tough love in this post but so often we mistakenly get scared of ourselves and our normal biological functions.  What if we said "no" to seconds or "x" food - would this cause us to break out or binge or whatever?   The power to decide is within ourselves.  The trick is realizing when it's your Inner Gollum having a go at you.  It is normal to experience hunger.  But so many of us treat hunger as if it's a disease state.  If you get excessively hungry, it can be annoying but it certainly won't kill you like starvation can.  

When I think of some of the thoughts I have had of being deprived, I am also clearly forgetting that I'm one of the lucky few that live in a first world country.   Next to my fellow humans, I want for nothing.   I'm grateful that I don't really have to worry about where my next meal is coming from.   I  must note here that I don't believe that there is anything wrong with having a treat meal every now and again - but make sure it really is a treat, rather than a trigger for you, eat mindfully and savour each mouthful and be grateful that you can even contemplate a treat in the first place.

Meanwhile I'm off in my old canoe paddling away - I have a date with my best self later in a week or so and I'm looking forward to welcoming her back!

Dave Greenwalt Does American Idol

For one of the best posing routines you will ever see, check out this link:
http://davidgreenwalts.leannesslifestyle.com/video/david_does_american_idol.html

I learnt everything I needed to know about final week prep from Dave with his program, The Leanness Lifestyle. He doesn't carb deplete, he doesn't deplete water. What's the secret....he gets lean enough in the beginning - he's 5'10", 86.36kg on stage and 3.9% bodyfat...yikes.

Show Me The Money!

This is a little story about extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Anyone who has studied sports psychology will be familiar with these terms - if you're intrinsically motivated, your focus is internal, within yourself (which you have 100% control of) and when you're extrinsically motivated, it's because your focus is external, that is something where the outcome is not 100% controllable by yourself. Preparing for a Figure Competition is a perfect example of this - you cannot control the conditions on the day and who takes home first place, but you can use the date as an external means to achieve motivation. Most psychologists stress the importance of goal setting as a means of achieving mastery and competence in many situations. It does seem to become murkier though when setting an internal goal, such as living a lean and fit lifestyle because that's part of WHO you are - much harder to quantify and where so many people have difficulty in the maintenance phase after weight loss.

Once you learn to believe that you are internally, rather than externally controlled, is when the penny drops and you can learn to become at ease with yourself in any situation.

However the story for me today is back to using an extrinsic motivator as an aid towards achieving a goal. I have done a lot of internal work learning to maintain, but at the beginning of this year found my weight beginning to wander up into the 61s which I wasn't entirely thrilled about. I had been dropping and gaining the same kilo of weight for a few months when I decided I wanted to get serious again and get a bit leaner, in prep for the surgery and just because I like to look good.

So...I borrowed something from David Greenwalt (Leanness Lifestyle) and used something he coins "reverse risk leveraging", that is putting up something of high value against your goal and being prepared to lose it if you didn't meet your goals within the parameters you and an external source had set. I used reverse risk leveraging on a Bootcamp I did with him in 2005 where I had to send a cheque for 250.00 (bank cheque) made payable to a charity in the US which he would mail if I failed to reach my goal. It worked a treat - I exceeded my goal and then some.

A few weeks ago, I decided to leverage again, so I had a money order created to the tune of $750 and made it payable to somebody who I really don't care for. I drew up an agreement with Miss S and signed it, setting sub 59kg as my target to reach by 19th March, 2008. If I didn't meet the goal, Miss S was to send the money order to this particular person.

I got busy - I started to be more particular about what I was eating and returned to logging my meals. Every time I was tempted to pick at something or do some baking I would ask myself whether the indiscretion would be worth that amount of money. Things were looking good - spent most of last week in the 59.somethings but then disaster struck. Somehow my weight spiked to 61kg on Sunday (DOMS) and then 60.4kg on Monday. My RPM class commented on how lean I was looking but I was beginning to feel sick that I wouldn't reach the goal, even though I'd done everything right! Yesterday was more encouraging at 59.3kg - I went semi Paleo on Monday and yesterday and kept it tight, but not insane. I drank heaps of water.

Today I weighed in at 58.8kg. Goal reached. Phew!

I'm not only relieved, I feel a fantastic sense of mastery over nailing this little sucker. The main focus for me is internal, but external motivation in the form of leveraging can work well too when you need a bit of a shove in the patootie. Plus I'm wearing one of my smaller sized skirts today - that's a nice feeling!

Forced together via marriage

Yup, this is a post about in laws - I've heard the saying that you inherit another family when you get married whether you like it or not. Plus you're forced to spend time with each other regardless of whether you've made friends or not. I did not grow up with Step siblings so I can only imagine the stress of moving in with a ready made family or inheriting a ready made family as such.

I must say that I've found blending with DH's side of the family extremely stressful. They are nice enough but I feel like if I had never met DH, I would never have been part of their Universe due to differences in interests, personality etc. Today, my MIL kindly offered to look after the girls whilst I did my BOSU course today - unfortunately we got our wires crossed - she thought I was coming back an hour and a half earlier than I had thought I had mentioned - however nothing was specifically said, only implied and I was left with a sense that I'd done something terribly wrong, only I wasn't sure. I mentioned this to DH who then phoned his parents who told him the error - then, angry he phoned me - to which then I took the bull by the horns, phoned them and apologized profusely for the error -I thought I had told them that I would be later.... only I just wished they'd mentioned it when I turned up - would have saved me a lot of indigestion. :(

Anyway, there's always a lot of unease around DH's family - I know they think my passion for all things fitness is a little bit weird but I have to tread my own path and realize that not everyone has to like me, just as I don't like everyone either.

The BOSU course was great though - DOMS is beginning to set into my thighs and my abs and I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow knowing that I did something worthwhile..

Other workout today: 2 x Spinervals "sets" 30 minutes

Stepping it up!

I've been inspired by Lia to get myself organized. I'm moving into a very busy week with learning the new Les Mills choreography and attending Mike McSweeney's Core Course for Fitness First - I'm also moving into the next phase of Christian Thibaudeau's program which is all about pre fatigue type work which should be interesting (and DOMS inducing to say the least!).

My exercise week is looking like:

Sunday: Horizontal Dominance Training Upper Body, 30 min cardio

Monday: teach RPM

Tuesday: Prefatigue workout A

Wednesday: RPM at home, learning choreo

Thursday: RPM revision with Em, Bodybalance

Friday: Prefatigue Workout B, cardio

Saturday: Prefatigue Workout C, cardio

Sunday: teach RPM

My personal week is looking like:

Monday: work (programs etc), make birthday cake, cupcakes for school

Tuesday: Miss S's birthday

Wednesday: Public Holiday - activity with family

Thursday: Core Course

Friday: lunch with Steve (it's our 11th wedding anniversary!)

Saturday: 10 pin bowling and Sizzler party for Miss S

Sunday: off

Unfortunately with launches coming up, a day off doesn't look likely until the last week of August. This is when I'm going to schedule another day of indulgence! I'll have certainly earned it.

My other good news is that my physio, Dan, thinks my glute control has improved and he has given me the go ahead to keep squatting, deadlifting etc. I still have a long way to go with it and it will never be perfect, but it's really heartening. I am throwing in the Bodybalance to help open my hips - I did Balance last week and compared to Tony's yoga, it's a piece of cake. Well, not quite - but not as hard as I had remembered it to be.

Sore glutes!

Well the old DOMS has crept up on me from Core Synergistics yesterday. I woke up this morning, rolled over in bed and it was a case of "hello glutes, how the heck did you get so sore?" I wasn't expecting glute DOMS and certainly not of this severity!

This morning I managed to do RPM34 in its entireity! I think that it is one of the best releases Les Mills have put out in a long time - I really like the big gear focus of the time trial and Track Seven is an absolute cracker. I followed up with p90X Stretch X. I must say that I don't enjoy this one as much as Yoga X (I cannot believe I am stringing "yoga" and "enjoy" in the same sentence). I also received Amy Bento's Kickbox Extreme in the post today and I am hoping that the workout is of the intensity that is going to leave me feeling thoroughly pasted! There is nothing worse than getting your hopes up about the intensity of something, only to have it dashed when you actually do the workout.

I'm still leafing through my PN. I am enjoying Berardi's slant on nutrition and timing for superior athletic performance and the way he writes resonates with the way I think about nutrition - that it can be used to improve performance and feelings of well being. I picked up some cashews, walnuts and pecans today as Berardi is keen on nuts. I plan on adding these good fats into my diet a bit more and see what the effect is. It will be interesting to plug some stats into my Leanness Lifestyle journal. Whilst LL is fantastic for body fat loss, I think it's even more potent with more attention paid to nutrition and peak performance.

This post has turned into quite a ramble. No more luck on the accommodation front and DH is off to South Africa on Monday. I think I may be better off staying put for a few weeks and see what develops. I've been given strict instructions to tape "Lost", "Desperate Housewives", "Heroes" and "Battlestar Galactica". I loved the old version of it and I'm really not too sure about Starbuck turning into a female.