Making My Mind Up!

I was going to find a photo of Buck's Fizz, but I decided that I don't want to inflict that upon any of you that read this blog, so I'm going Blankety Blank instead.

I made a decision tonight, that is I'm not going to compete in the INBA titles in Brisbane on the 17th May.

I hate admitting it, but a lot of the reason is financial - we've just made our first drawdown for the house and we're thinking of sending the girls to Ipswich Grammar next year. When I added up the cost of joining the INBA, the entry fee, the tan etc, I just felt that what I would gain from the experience would not be as worth as much to me as that money will be going somewhere else.

A lot of people often pull out of a comp because of insecurity about how they are looking - in my case, this couldn't be further from the truth. I look amazing, I am fit, I am toned and I cannot wait to have my photos done with Dallas on the Monday following the comp! Everytime I pass my reflection in the mirror (after checking out my biceps of course) ,I marvel and smile at how good I look and feel (especially after sleeping in this morning).

Over dinner tonight, I reflected on if my decision would change what I ate tonight. No, things went on just as normal.

I can't wait to see everyone at the show and I cannot wait to show everyone my photos.

To be or not to be?

Some of you will know that I've been toying with the idea of competing - I get enthused one minute and the next I'm "nah..don't want to do that". However, I'm thinking of competing in May for the last time at possibly the INBA and/or the ANB shows.

However, I've been having all sorts of self doubts - have I lost muscle (I'm up there 2nd from right)? I haven't been training all that consistently and I had an abdominoplasty not even a year ago - will I still have swelling issues? Plus, will my viral issues head out the door in time? I've made some really good strides this last week and am wearing parts of my comp wardrobe with ease. I've got about 4 good kilos to get to comp lean physique.

I want to do this competition solely for myself, to remind myself of the discipline and commitment we need to get into THAT sort of shape in a tiny bikini on that stage - Having not been on stage for three years has made me forget how much determination you need to get there, even with a top notch and sane eating plan.

In the meantime I'm going to work my butt off in the gym and start taking some supplements (I'm very lazy) over the next 10 weeks, and keep up the positive self talk. I can evaluate the belly situation more when I'm leaner. However, I think I'm using that as an excuse..I just need to do what Nike says...Just Do It...

I did train this morning - lower body - squats and deadlifts - just the most basic stuff - that was it and went at 75% of max effort - I couldn't walk most of last week, so thought I would ease my way back into it.