I'm wondering if the notion of locking yourself into a padded cell when you're in the throes of PMS is a good thing sometimes, because at that time of the month, I'm really dangerous. I start to mouth off and finally say it how it is. The most intoxicating part is that I can rationalize my behaviour by writing it off to PMS, all the while feeling rather gleeful about my new found boldness. The downside of PMS fuelled activities is that when TOM arrives you can feel like you've spent an evening drunk texting, Facebooking or whatever and woken up the next day without any recollection of what you've actually said and that's when it can get a bit hairy.
I immediately get on the phone and have a chat with my mother, who has been a model citizen her whole life, except for the times she had PMS. Between the two of us, we've shared some shocker moments, which for her safety I won't divulge, except to say - "you said what?!???" By the end of these conversations we've both decided what fun it has been to let our inner lunatic out for a day or so... and then we carry on being good girls for the next month...
The first post that I deleted was titled "she's just not into you" and refers to the minefield of Social Networking Etiquette. I have had a "friend" who has been inadvertently stroking my lunatic muscle for months now. Every time she would update, I'd just about want to hurl spears into the screen. She was the Facebook type that would post every last bit of minutiae about her life experience.
Once she posted about her workout with her fabulous BFF
- "about to go and train my shoulders and calves with x" (this is mildly annoying because what idiot goes to the gym just to train their calves?).
Two minutes later, "I'm just about to start my first set of ........." (okkkkaaaayyyyy)
Then - "I'm resting in between sets" (now I am saying in my head, get off your f**** iPhone)
Fifteen minutes later....
"Oooh that was such a hard workout" (for your fingers maybe?)
And then, the piece de resistance...
"Now I'm having my recovery shake" (to recover from what?)
I didn't know what to do, so I tried her theory, "if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say it at all". OK, so I'm going to let it go and quietly marvel at that massive ego and try and change my Facebook settings so I can't see as many updates....no luck there.
Instead I prayed for an easy way out. Redemption came in the way of (yep you guessed it) a status update. It was (wait for it) an announcement! It was an announcement that there was to be a massive "friend cull". I crossed my fingers and kept praying.
Yesterday my prayers were answered - I made the cut!!!!!
I've just had a source of digital stress removed from my life, that of the crashing bore.
Many of you may guess who the crashing bore that I'm talking about is. I expect half of you to delete me from your blogroll for having the smarts to say it like it is. That's OK. I'd rather stand up now and be a little more truthful, even if it turns me into a social pariah.
Oh, and I just wish PMS would hit me a little more often.
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